


Forget My Brain, Remember My Name

by midnightcarlightslarry



Category: the 1975 - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Drug Use, Fingering, Hidden Feelings, Light Bondage, M/M, Rimming, Size Difference, Stoned Sex, Touring, biting and scratching and marks, drunk, eventul smut, idk this is my first fanfic bare with me, kinda Dom/sub, this is gunna be soppy I can't help it, trying to set the plot then will go in with the smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 16:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6247291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightcarlightslarry/pseuds/midnightcarlightslarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matty can't work out what's wrong with him lately, all he wants is to be around George. When they go back on tour and George is away from his girlfriend, will the best friends ever become more? And if they do, will they both ever be able to accept their feelings for each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay welcome to my first proper fic, I've written a few in the past but this is gunna be good, so bare with. Yes I do ship it a lot, and they probably hate me for writing this, but whoops!! Shoutout to everyone else on here because their work on g/m is insane and we need more of it. Anyway- there will be smut and lots of it, I'm just trying to create a plot atm so have fun guys. I'll update as often as poss:)

Eight shows into the new tour and everything was going just how they all wanted it. The lighting was perfect, the sounds were amazing, and the crowds were getting better every night. It was weird to think that they'd been together for over 10 years, from practicing in Matty's old bedroom as late as they could until they were told to shut up. He had always dreamed of selling out 5 nights in a row at Brixton and having a choir to back them up, and now all that's become a reality. He still couldn't quite believe it was happening. 

Matty often sat and looked back on the old times, touring round America on nothing but the money they made from tips from doing small gigs in restaurants and strange bars. He sometimes thought he'd like to go back to how it was then, no one knowing who they were, finding a hot girl and taking her back to the cramped hotel room without having to worry about it being thrown into the media. Matty sighed as he looked at his phone, a text from Jamie reminding him to be ready for 8am tomorrow morning. Jamie always liked to be thorough and organised, but Matty liked it that way. He liked things being planned, just like he and George had already planned to meet at 8am the following morning. 

He stubbed out the last of his blunt and climbed into bed. It was all too silent when they were at home, Matty had always liked the buzz of noise and people around him. He found it hard to sit still, let alone have to sleep on his own. He did like it when they had a few days off, but he belonged on tour, living on a buss and different hotels every time. The sheets were cold on his skin, and however many blankets he added, he was still cold. Night times were when his mind was most active, in the day it was his body wanting to just keep moving, but at night it was his mind. He thought about his past, from drugs, to his ex girlfriend Gemma. He tried so hard to convince himself he was over her, and truthfully he was, but he still missed her. He missed their friendship more than anything, he could never understand why they couldn't just be friends anymore. 'People don't still go out when they're not together anymore Matty, it's over' she had said many times. He replayed those words over in his head until he finally drifted off to sleep. 

Matty woke up at 7:45 to the sound of his alarm, he always hated the sound it made. It wasn't just the fact he had to actually wake up, it was the fact it was such a horrible tune. In his daze of coming round, he thought of how George should make some alarm sounds. Maybe that way he'd actually like the sound of being woken up on a morning. Matty opened his eyes to a dim light filtering through the curtains, he sighed and reached for the box of fags on his bedside table. When he first bought his new house he had made himself a promise not to smoke inside, but that didn't last long. He lit the fag and lead there for a few minutes until he realised he was going to be late. 

Matty had never liked lateness, it annoyed him and he thought it was rude. However this didn't stop himself being late on quite a number of occasions. After throwing on a hoodie and some black skinnies he was ready to hit the long journey up to Glasgow. There was the option of a plane, but Matty would rather have George drive the 9 hours than have to get on one of those flying pieces of metal. The thought of an airport or even the sight of a passport sent his heartbeat racing, he still didn't understand why all these years later planes still terrified him. It was now 8:05 and he poured the rest of his coffee down the sink as he heard the car beep.

George looked, and probably was half asleep, Matty sometimes wondered if it was even possible to smoke as much weed as George did. 'Hey mate' George said as he leant across and opened the door for Matty. It was still early in the year and the temperature had Matty shaking so much that he wasn't really strong enough for opening heavy car doors at this time of the morning. He sat on the seat and closed the door behind him. George flicked a button on the dial and set the heating onto full blast, he knew how Matty was always cold. George loved driving and the hours went with ease as they went up the motorway. Fleetwood Mac and cigarettes for company. The conversations drifting between shitty chart music to what they might change the setlist to once they hit America. Of course Adam, Ross and the rest of the crew had taken the easy under an hour option of a plane ride, Matty didn't mind though, he liked having George to himself for a while anyway. 

They had always been best friends, right from when they first met. They had just clicked, like soul mates but in a friendship kind. There had been many times when they'd broken down together, or shared hopes and dreams with each other. It was usually much the same things, so it was always so easy to comfort each other. The night Matty had split up with Gemma, he turned up on Georges doorstep with a bottle of whiskey and a packet of cocane in his hand. George didn't even need to ask what had happened to know what was going on, he just picked Matty up and ran him a bath. He had let him cry into his arms and let him hold onto George like a baby kola bear does. They were always close anyway, on tour they always used to share single beds. It was like a second nature to them for George to have a face full of curls and the faint sound of Matty's heartbeat as they fell asleep. 

It was weird for them both when they were earning more money and were given separate hotel rooms. Neither of them really wanted to be separated, but they couldn't tell this band manager how they liked to sleep. Matty especially found it hard to sleep, and almost every night George would wake up to a soft knock at the door. He didn't even need to open his eyes to know it was Matty padding his way to his bed, the the press of his mattress and the apples and fags smell of Matty's hair against his chest. George was glad it was dark as he didn't have to hide his smile when Matty would throw his leg over Georges and rest his head on his chest. Neither of them ever found it even slightly weird, it was just what they were used too, what they were comfortable with. George especially found it hard going home and having to be without Matty. He'd often be wide awake at 4am leaning out the window watching the smoke of his cigarette fade into the night sky. He was lonely, he liked the warmth of another person in his bed. Unfortunately, the only person who could fullfull that need was Matty. 

It wasn't even so bad when they lived together, the amount of times they'd curl up on the sofa and fall asleep to the flicker of the tv, then wake up in the morning dazed but content. It was George who decided he needed his own place first, all when he met his current girlfriend Jessy. She was young and very pretty, a model in her spare time and a journalist in her day job. The two had met when they went for an interview 6 months ago. None of them wanted to go, they never do, but they did. George was glad they did, he always found it hard to find someone who understood him. No one ever seemed to be patient with him and they'd always say he was too lazy to ever cope with. 

Jessy was different, he knew from the way they hit it off as soon as they met. Matty just rolled his eyes and carried on talking, George was always a flirt, but even he didn't know that the pair would become something more. After a few dates and a few fucks later George knew he wanted more from her. He was never really into the whole girlfriend thing, he hated labels and being tied down, but he wanted it with Jessy. George of course told Matty the news first, and he was surprised with how calm Matty was, 'I'm happy for you, you know that' he had said. What George didn't know about was the heart sinking feeling Matty had. Matty didn't even know why he felt like that, George was his best friend and he should be happy for him, but he couldn't fight the slight pang of jealousy that struck him. 

Matty missed George a lot when they weren't together all the time. Matty had spent a lot of time in LA writing songs for their new album while George was at home in England. Matty liked it at first, hooking up with random hot girls, the warm weather and the peacefulness of it. But it wasn't too long before he missed the biggest part of his life. Having song lyrics was great, but you also need someone to make the track, and that person was 5 thousand miles away. They spoke on the phone regularly but for some reason it took a few weeks before Matty actually had the courage to ask George to come out to see him. 'I thought you'd never ask' George laughed. Matty couldn't stop himself from grinning when he found out Jessy was working so she couldn't come. 

Waiting for the rest of the week for George seemed like ages for Matty. He couldn't even roll a blunt right, however hard he tried he had never been able to do it, only George could ever get it right. He took his frustration out by writing poetry and buying wine which was way too expensive to just drink on the average night, but Matty didn't care. He was practically climbing the walls the morning of George arriving. He drove all the way to the airport without getting lost and sat in the arrivals waiting to see his best friend. Matty knew as soon as he saw the tall brown messy hair behind everyone else that it was George. He had no idea why his heart was racing so fast. Matty had never seen George smile so wide as when they saw each other for the first time in 2 months. Neither of them even had the slightest second thought of running towards and literally hugging the life out of each other. George had missed those apple smelling curls more than he could imagine. 

The pair didn't stop chatting all day and practically all night about everything and anything. They sat on the balcony drinking Jack Daniels out the bottle and passing a rather large joint back and forth. Matty had his legs over George's, and George was rubbing circles on his thighs, it was nice, and they were both relaxed and enjoying each other's company. It was fine until George stroked Matty's chin, so very gently. They were both drunk and Matty couldn't help but turn into the touch, their lips pressed together and lingered for just a few seconds. There was no tongues and nothing much else, neither said anything about it after and neither found it awkward. That night they slept in their old position of George spooning Matty. They both had the best night sleep they'd had for ages, and it was needed. 

They slept together every night they were both in LA, it just became a routine to them both. They'd make records in the day, go out drinking and smoking in the night time, then come and Matty would lay his head on Georges chest. They were both happy, at least Matty knew he was, until it was time for George to go back home. He couldn't focus on anything, no amount of drink or weed would help scratch the itch of needing George with him. He sat in his bathroom with a bag of coke on the sink. He held his head in his hands and let a tear slide down his face as he wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Somehow he managed to wash the white powder down the sink and resist the temptation, the last thing he needed was the cravings for that again. 

He went to a local bar that night and picked up a blonde model who had been eyeing him up all night. They fucked in the back of the car but Matty just didn't enjoy it, he hadn't fucked anyone in over 3 months yet he still didn't feel better after a hot girl riding his cock. That was the time Matty realised he needed to go home, to George. 

***  
Matty yawned as the rain hit the windscreen and the turn off for Glasgow appeared on the sign. He looked across at George, who looked deep in thought, but he looked calm and happy. Matty stared for longer than he probably should have at George's fine cut jaw line, long eye lashes and pink plumb lips. Matty licked his own lips until he heard George, 'enjoying the view' he smiled. Matty jumped at this and tried to knock it off with some joke, not that it really worked. They drove the rest of the journey in a comfortable silence. 

They arrived at the hotel and were met by Jamie, Adam, Ross, John and some other crew members. It was perfect time for dinner and Matty was glad to be back on his own two legs again, 'maybe it's just all transport I hate' he thought to himself, but was snapped out of his day dreaming when John asked him how his week had been. 

They sat in Matty's hotel room that night playing some shitty game of poker using coffee cups as tequila glasses. It passed a few hours until they decided they'd better actually go to sleep. They'd have to be up early for sound checking tomorrow anyway. Gradually everyone left until it was just George left sat on the floor with his long legs stretched out in front of him picking at his nails. Matty bit his lip because he really wanted George to stay, but he couldn't just ask him. 

Neither of them even spoke until a few minutes later 'well I'd um better be going then' George announced as he slowly stood up. 

'Yeah okay, guess I'll see you in the morning then' Matty almost whispered as he took off his shirt and jeans and sat in bed. The bed was cold and George was still stood in the doorway. Matty didn't want to look up but he didn't know much longer George was just going to linger. 

'Matty' 

'Yeah' Matty looked up, 

That was all George needed before he flicked the light off, walked over to the bed, took off his top and jeans, and climbed in behind Matty. George's heart was racing and Matty couldn't even control his uneven breathing being louder then he'd have liked in the silent room. Okay, maybe this wasn't normal, but this was just how they were.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe how many reads this is getting already. Well here's the next part- hope ya enjoy it! May even be a little smut towards the end... Muahaha
> 
> Also after ive finished I will go back and edit it all.

George woke up before Matty, he rolled over, sat up, then got out of bed. If George was honest with himself, he only ever properly slept when he was with Matty, and it didn't really bother him either. He took a quick glance in the mirror, noticing his tired eyes didn't look quite so tired anymore. He then turned back to Matty, unconscious and looking ever so pretty in his sleep. George often liked waking up early and just watching Matty's cheeks twitching in his dreams. The thought of a shower snapped George out of his thoughts and he headed into the bathroom.

***

It was 2 hours before the show and the four of them were sat huddled around a tiny tv having a few games of Fifa. Matty loved the game, yet however hard he tried, someone would always beat him. Ross had just scored his 8th goal and Matty was seriously loosing patience with the it. Luckily, Ross had also had enough and announced he was going back to his room to order room service. As he got up, Adam decided to join him and the two of them shut the door behind them and made their way down the corridor. 

George, who had been lying on his back the whole time on the bed rolling joints and editing stupid photos for his Instagram, jumped up and sat down next too Matty. 

'Come on mate, lets have a game, I'll try not to let you win' George laughed 

'Ha, fuck you, you won't have to let me win' luckily for Matty, George was pretty clumsy with the controller and often pressed the wrong button. Matty liked playing with George because he could actually win, and winning made him feel good. 

10 minutes later it was 3-3 and they had only a few minutes left before being called into their every day meeting. If Matty could simply get past one of Georges players, he could score the goal and win. He saw the chance and moved the button on his controller, the ball went into the back of the net and Matty's hands flew up in the air before flipping George off. George sighed and rolled his eyes 'I'm not letting you get away with that you little shit' he grabbed the controller out of Matty's hand and scored an extra goal himself. 

'You fucking cheat' Matty laughed as he leant over and punched George on his thigh. 

George grabbed Matty's hands playfully and easily pushed him to the floor. Matty was weak and George easily knew how to bully him, in a friendly way of course. With Matty on lead on the floor and his hands restrained the only way out was to kick George in-between his legs. His calf connected with Georges balls and George made a low pitch groan, Matty had no idea why that gave him such butterflies in his stomach. But his thoughts soon vanished when George fully climbed on top of him and pinned his hands above his head. Matty couldn't move, but fuck, he didn't want too either. George was less than 5cm from his face and he could feel his breath. Matty looked from his big brown eyes, to his lips, he even licked his own without either thinking about it. Neither said a word, they just lead there not knowing what to do, yet wanting to close that gap inbetween their mouthes. 

A few seconds later, just as George thought about actually getting off of Matty, there was a loud knock at the door which startled them both. 'Will you two hurry up we don't have all day' it was Jamie. 

They both scrambled to their feet, put on their shoes and headed out the door. In the meeting Matty's mind went blank, which was a first. All he could think about was George being so close to his face, and the fact that in that moment all he wanted to do was kiss him. He looked across the room to his best friend. George was sat picking at his nails, looking rather dazed and not quite high enough to be enjoying this meeting. Matty was soon snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a 'what do you think' from John. He could feel George's eyes on him as he just nodded slowly at whatever it was, not wanting to admit he wasn't paying any attention what to ever to what was being said. 

In their dressing room, Matty couldn't help but stare a little longer than usual at George's back. It was his favourite part about George, but tonight all he wanted to do was run his finger down his spine. Matty shook his head as he downed the rest of his glass of wine and headed out on stage, what the hell was wrong with him today. 

The gig was good and the crowd were loud. Matty was using all his extra energy running around the stage and practically screaming down his mic. He could feel the adrenaline racing through his veins as he sang Ballad, it was their song, and Matty seemed to get a certain kick from it which he loved. The thing that he couldn't work out were the sudden butterflies and the image of George leant over him as he sang the words to fallingforyou. This was always one of his favourites on stage, normally it never really had a meaning, but tonight it was different. He almost chocked on his words as he sang the lyrics 'I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck.' When they got off stage he realised he needed to snap out of this, and fast, George was his best friend and Matty was just lonely and longing for attention. 

That night as the others left the room Matty didn't even give George another look before going into the bathroom and having a shower. George knew he wasn't wanted and left the room feeling confused about what had happened today, why the hell did he wanna kiss Matty? He had a girlfriend who he loved, and he was defiantly not into boys. Surely this was something which would just blow over.. 

And blow over it did, the next week they had finished their UK tour and were heading to Europe. Jessy had joined George for a few days and they were both happy. Matty couldn't help feel the slight pang of jealousy he got when the two of them turned up hand in hand at the airport. Matty was too nervous about flying to be feeling too much at that moment anyway. Sitting next to Ross and watching him enjoy his inflight meal really didn't help Matty either. He didn't have George to rub circles on his hand and by the end of the short flight he was left feeling sick and agitated. 

Matty told himself it was because he liked having full attention from everyone which was the reason he didn't like it when George was with Jessy. He felt like he wasn't being paid enough attention and it made him bored and annoyed. He lead in his hotel room in the centre of Belgium and pumped his fist up and down his cock. He looked out the window to the sea of city lights in the night sky. Matty hadn't wanked in a while and it felt good to finally be able to relax, he was close and he bit his tongue hard to try and stop the wining noises escaping his mouth. For some reason an imagine of Georges hand replacing his suddenly popped into his head, and Matty came. He lead there for a few minutes staring into the darkness until his breathing returned to normal. Fuck it, he was going out and getting pissed. Their show wasn't till tomorrow night and he was a free guy after all. 

Matty stood in a white button blouse looking at himself in the mirror, his tattoo was poking out the top, his jeans clung to his bum, and his curls swept over his face. He was happy with how he looked, and he grabbed his leather jacket and shut the door behind him. 

The hotel lobby was full of life, from couples on holidays, to business men in suits. Matty liked going to countries where few people actually knew who he was, he found it peaceful. He always was fascinated by people and how everyone was so different, he found it nice to be able to just study everyone without having someone ask for an autograph or another bloody selfie. Matty laughed and shook his head to himself at the thought of how many selfies he must have taken with fans in the last month, it was like the new thing to do nowadays. 

He was about to step out into the evening air when he bumped into George, who was hand in hand with Jessy. 'Hey mate where do you think you're going' George asked.

'Just out, shouldn't bother you anyway' Matty shrugged, he was annoyed and he didn't like being annoyed. Jessy on the other hand had seen Matty's weird mood and announced she was going up to their room. Matty had to physically stop himself from saying 'good' out loud. 

'What's got into you' George asked sounding rather bored as he lit up a cigarette. Matty was angry now and he just wanted to get away from George 'fucking nothing, now if you'll excuse me I'm going out to get pissed. I would ask you to join me but clearly you're busy' and with that he pushed past George and walked down the street. He only turned back to see George roll his eyes then make his way back into the hotel. Matty shook his head to himself 'fucking ass' he whispered quietly. 

An hour later after a stroll down the river, Matty found himself sipping at a beer in a old style bar. It was calm and there wasn't many people about. He had got into a conversation about music to some guy who must have been at least 70, it always amazed Matty just how much older people had experienced in life. As he read the label to his third bottle of strange sweet tasting bottle of beer, he realised why he usually stuck to wine, he felt sick. He decided to leave the little bar and find some decent food, he hadn't eaten all day and he knew from experience that drinking on an empty stomach was a mistake. 

He was making his way down some alley path with no clue where he was when he heard a familiar voice call out his name. He turned round to George stood over him with a cheesy grin on his face. Matty wasn't angry anymore, in fact he was quite happy now. 'What ya doing here George' he tried to hide his sudden happiness in his tone of voice. 

'Well, Jessy told me to come out with you. And I want too yano, bit of a shit person if I leave my best mate to go out getting pissed by himself huh.' Matty couldn't even help the smile that had creeped into his face, he just gently slapped Georges chest and carried on walking. 'So where we going then George, I'm hungry' Matty said as he tried not to sound too enthusiastic. 

An hour so later they were sat in some fancy restaurant stuffed with pizza and very good red wine. Matty had no idea what make the wine was, but he knew it was good. Him and George hadn't stopped talking about absolute shit the whole time, but they were just both glad of each other's company. They paid the bill and left a generous tip, Matty liked being kind to people, and if that meant leaving some extra money to make someone happy, he'd do it. Once they were out of the restaurant George announced he wanted ice cream. Matty just rolled his eyes, drunk-on-red-wine-George was always interesting. They soon found an ice cream stand and ended up with one strawberry and one chocolate (actual chocolate). They walked back along the river together until Matty broke their silence 'hey, how did you find me, it's not like this is exactly a small place?'

George laughed 'I dunno, I guess I just let my feet take me where it felt natural. Ended up in some random place and wasn't surprised when I saw you walking down the street.' Matty just rolled his eyes and carried on walking, the sourness from his ice cream was very much needed. 

Half way across the bridge at the river, the two stopped and leant over the barrier. 'Weird init, going from our bedrooms to countries all over the world.' Matty looked at George for the first time in a while, the light of the water was reflecting in his eyes and it looked almost magical. George turned to face him 'yeah it is weird, but I wouldn't wanna do it with anyone else but you and the others.' Matty just laughed and shook his head, it seemed like there was no one else around, he had no idea what time it was but the atmosphere around them had changed. They looked into each other's eyes once more before George literally said 'fuck it,' grabbed Matty by the waist and neck, and smashed their lips together. 

It was messy, teeth clashing and neither knowing if they really wanted to do this. But once Matty moaned at the touch and George slid his tongue inside his mouth, they both didn't want to stop either. Matty felt as if this was all those 'almost' moments being melted away, and fuck it was as good, actually better, than he could have ever imagined. Georges mouth tasted like fags and sweet chocolate as his tongue skimmed every inch of his mouth. He somehow managed to slip a hand in his hair and drag him down further to get a better angle at his mouth. Georges hands we're sliding over every inch of Matty's chest and he couldn't even breathe where their tongues took up so much room in each other's mouths. Neither wanted to pull away, but they were slowly running out of oxygen and George wasn't sure if he was going to pass out or not. He pulled away first and they both just stood looking at each other breathless, not having the slightest clue on what to actually say to each other. 

'I'm sorry' George whispered as he wiped his mouth, he had both his and Matty's saliva over his chin. His cock was pulcing in his jeans, he wasn't hard, but it wouldn't take much more of Matty to get him there. 

Matty stood opposite him, quite stunned and shaking a little about what had just happened. He was glad George had pulled away when he did, he didn't want George to see him get rock hard from just a stupid fucking kiss, even if there was no doubt that was the best kiss he's ever had. 'I don't wanna stop' Matty said quietly. He felt like a small child who was admitting to something bad they'd done. He was soon knocked out of his thoughts when George grabbed for his hand and dragged him through the streets until they reached the hotel. Matty had no idea on how George had remembered the way, but none of that mattered right now, and his stomach was doing flips of excitement and nervousness as to what was coming next. 

George was impatient as he pressed the button over 20 times for the lift in a few seconds. It made Matty giggle, George couldn't even hide his smile at the sound. The lift finally opened and a bunch of old holiday makers cleared out. George dragged Matty inside and pushed him into the wall, he sucked his neck and left a large purple mark. Matty's skin smelt like apples and George wanted to lick and kiss every inch of it. They were just about to start again when the lift open and in came a very wealthy looking man, he obviously guessed what they were doing and looked more than disgusted. Matty and George just looked at each other and giggled. 

Once the lift reached their floor they ran hand in hand to Matty's room. Nether could understand why they wanted this so bad, and they'd probably regret it in the morning, but fuck it. Once inside the room, George waisted no time on picking Matty up by his ass and slamming him into the wall. George was hard and Matty could feel it against his thigh as he wrapped his legs around Georges hips. They kissed again, deeper and deeper, their mouthes were so wet where their kisses were so messy. But their tongues were connected and Matty couldn't understand how turned on he was just from kissing George. 

They made it to the bed and George fell over Matty's body, his weight was pressing Matty into the mattress, but fuck he didn't care. They waisted no time in pulling each other's tshirts off. Matty sunk his finger nails into Georges back as George licked down from his throat, tugged at his nipples, then down to his belly button. George took off his own jeans then peeled Matty out of his skinnies. They were just lead there on top of each other not really knowing what to do or how far to go with each other. 

'What you wanna do Matty' George asked slowly, his head was inches from Matty's hard cock. Matty swallowed 'wanna touch you.' Neither had gone any further than even kissing a guy before, let alone touching a cock which wasn't their own. George sighed and rolled off Matty onto his back, the pair looked into each other's eyes once more before Matty knelt down and pulled down Georges boxers. He couldn't even hide the surprised look when he first saw Georges cock, he was fucking huge. Matty gulped, of course they'd seen each other naked hundreds of times before, but this was up close and different. George could could sense Matty was nervous and he reached up to gently stroke his cheek 'hey, it's okay.' Matty sighed as he took Georges cock in his hand and started pumping it up and down. 'Shit' George was making very unusual noises, but Matty could tell it was a good thing. He didn't even realise how much pleasure he could get himself from making George feel good. This was all so fucked up, but at this moment it just felt right Matty wanted to make George come, to see him come apart knowing it was his touch that made it happen. 

It seemed so soon after Matty started that George came, it was like a sudden flurry of white that hit his chest. Matty was quite stunned with it, he didn't even know why considering it happened to him on a regular basis. He leant over, gently kissed George and sat back down. It only felt like seconds later George was sliding his hands into his boxers and sliding them down his legs. Matty was leaking so much precum it was almost embarrassing, but George didn't look phased. His expression didn't even change when seconds, literally seconds later Matty came, making a sound he didn't even know he could make. Matty was so turned on and felt so exposed by the fact his best friend just made him come with 6 strokes of his hand. 

The two just lead there for a few minutes wondering what the fuck they'd done, but neither regretted it either. All Matty knew is that he wanted more, a lot more. He was tired and he didn't even think when he felt George wipe him over with a damp cloth. He just watched him turn off the light and climb into bed next to him, his chest pressing into Matty's back. Matty felt safe like this. 

George was about to go to sleep when his phone started buzzing, it was Jessy. He sighed, turned his phone on silent, and went back to nuzzling Matty's curls. Just tonight, this was what he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter or so I'll do it more in each of their point of views so we get more of an idea of their feelings


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thanks for all the reads! If there's any mistakes in this I do apologise.. It was 3am and I just went for it. Next chapter I'll do Georges PoV as well as Matty's :)

Matty rolled over on his side to an empty bed and swollen lips. He unlocked his phone to see it was 10am, half an hour after he usually got up. After running his hands through his hair, he suddenly remembered what happened last night. 

'SHIT.' Matty shot up right in his bed and tried not to panic at the memories of George pinning him against the wall and practically licking at his tonsils. He didn't regret it at all, in fact it was probably the best of orgasm he had ever received. The thing that worried him was that George was his best friend, who was in a relationship. And what worried Matty even more, was the fact he'd have done anything for George, and he felt something in his head which was almost like a stupid crush. 

He got out of bed and had a quick shower, his mind was racing on what to actually say to George and whether they'd ever go back to being how they were. He felt nervous as he pulled on his leather trousers and oversized hoodie. They had a show tonight and now wasn't the time to be letting all this shit get in the way. He had to concentrate, an audience of a few thousand would be waiting for him, he couldn't let them down. With one last look in the mirror, Matty picked up his phone and headed out the room to go to breakfast. 

His breath hitched in his throat as he stood in the elevator, his mind running back to Georges strong arm holding him against his body. Matty wished those fucking butterflies would just go away. He was just lonely and horny, and his best friend was not the person to take that out on. 

It didn't take him two seconds to find the others in the corner of the cafe. Ross had certainly taken up the full advantage of an all inclusive hotel and had piled up his plate with a years worth of bacon. Adam was deep in conversation with John sipping tea, while Jamie was on the phone as usual. Lastly Matty's eye scanned to George, he was sat there eating his breakfast with Jessy, 'why wouldn't he be' he thought to himself. 

It wasn't Matty's thing to be intimidated by anything or anyone, especially not George. He took a breath of air and walked over to the table 'ah Matty, was wondering where you had got up too' Jamie said looking at him up and down. He wasn't really listening as his eyes connected with George, 'hey mate, I got you a coffee' their hands briefly touched as he accepted the hot mug, and Matty almost jumped at the touch of their skin. He needed to snap out of this, and fast. He sat down next to George and slowly sipped his coffee, 1 sugar and a tiny bit of milk, just how he liked it. He was soon distracted of his thoughts by Jessy. 

'So you two obviously had fun in the end then. It was 1am and I was surprised you hadn't come back yet' 

George just placed his hand under the table and gently rubbed Matty's thigh. 

'Babe I told you, we were fine, just went back to his room and crashed' George sounded uncertain but it was believable to everyone else. 

'Yeah' she rolled her eyes 'and when I finally got an answer at 3 you couldn't even be bothered to come back.' Matty thought his heart actually stopped in his chest. George looked away and bit his thumb nail. 'What the fuck' Matty thought to himself. 

The pair didn't have any time alone until half an hour before the show. It was sound checking all day and none of them were happy with how it was sounding. They were all getting fed up and by the end of it the only thing to calm them down was a few blunts and tequila shots. They were all sat in their dressing room in silence when Matty looked up and realised George was the only one left. He was never usually stunned for words but he was now. 

'Matty' George sounded serious, 'look I don't know what got into us last night but it can't happen again okay, it was just stupid' 

'Yeah it was' Matty agreed on this, it can't happen again, it could ruin the band and friendships. But he still couldn't stop the feeling of his heart sinking just a little bit. 

'So we good' George asked as he threw the but out the window and stood up. 

'Yeah, course we are, always will be you dope' Matty couldn't work out why he had also stood up, but he had. 

Matty's feet found him stood in front of George. George ran his fingers through Matty's hair and their eyes locked, 'I'm serious, this isn't right.' But Matty already had his hand around George's neck and was stood on his tip toes to reach his mouth. He just pressed their lips together for a few seconds then pulled apart. Georges eyes were still closed as Matty grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. He had no idea what had got into him, but that was the last time he'd ever do that, it would ruin them. 

On stage that night Matty wasn't concentrating and he caught 'what the fuck are you doing' looks from Ross more than once. The red wine burnt his throat as he sang the words to 'me.' He closed his eyes during fallingforyou, if anyone had known he was crying god only knows what would have been said. Once again he thought about the lyrics, he had kissed Georges neck now, but fuck he wanted to do it again. 

He thought back to all the times he had watched George pull his shirt off after a show. How he wanted to put his face in the sweat running down his chest. He thought back to all the times he had watched him stand there half naked, maybe it wasn't natural to stare at your best friend as much as you could. Why did he always look at Georges lips while they were talking, thinking about how soft they'd be under his touch. Why was it that all he wanted to do was be held by George, to feel safe in his arms, because as long as he was there, everything would be okay. 

The rest of the show went by in a flash and him and George didn't have chance to speak to each other for a while after. He tried to hard in their dressing room not to look, but as he turned round he got a look of Georges back, so strong and muscular, all Matty wanted to do was run his hands down it. He shook his head and went for a shower. The sooner he snapped out of this thing the better. 

They got on the bus and headed down to the next venue, it was an overnight journey. They were all tired and for some reason the atmosphere was just awkward. Matty was happy though, Jessy had gone home, and this meant he'd have George all to himself. He hated the fact he felt so selfish, but he just couldn't help it. John and Ross passed some game on their phone to each other while Hann stared out the window dozing off. Matty looked at the city lights beyond the roads, he even thought he could see that bridge in the distance, getting smaller as they drove further into the distance. He picked up his bottle of water and took a swig, wishing it was something stronger like vodka. He could feel Georges eyes on him from across the seats. Matty didn't want to look, he knew George was sat biting his nails on one hand and drumming his fingers on the table with the other. Matty knew George was bored but he also didn't want to give him the attention he wanted, at least not with the others around him anyway. He leant his head against the window and shut his eyes, maybe he should try and sleep. 

Matty woke up after what seemed like an hour, he looked over to see everyone had gone to the bunks to sleep, everyone but George at least. George was sat with his laptop in front of him, when he saw Matty was awake he took off his headphones and pressed pause on the keyboard. 

'Didn't think you'd stay asleep there for long' George said slowly, his voice was deep and it hit Matty straight in the pit of his stomach. 

'Well using a window as a pillow isn't the most comfortable thing is it' 

George laughed, not a full laugh, more just a snort of air, 'My arm seems to do the job well' 

'Suppose it does' Matty swallowed, he wasn't sure how much to say. Neither was he sure if George was saying his as an offer or not. 

They sat in silence for a few more moments before George suggested they both should actually go to sleep. Matty knew he was right, it was near 1am and they'd have to do the whole process of setting up for the show again tomorrow. He wouldn't be on his game if he was tired, and he had thousands of fans he couldn't let down. 

He stood up and looked around, the bus was dark yet peaceful. Matty always did like tour busses, they were small yet relaxing, a space for all his favourite people to be at once. He even liked the bunks, even if they were small. All the others hated them because they were too short to be comfortable, but this was one time Matty was greatfull for his size. 

Matty hadn't even had a drop of alcohol yet he still managed to trip going up the stairs. It always amazed him how clumsy he was. Luckily just as he was about to fall George caught him, he snaked a strong arm round him and stopped him before he hit the ground. Matty couldn't even stop the large intake of breath he took as he felt Georges skin on his stomach. 'You ass' George whispered in his ear, but all Matty could do was smile. 

Matty reached his bunk and turned round to George, 'night mate' and with that, they both climbed into their separate bunks. It was dark and Matty lead there listening to the silence with the sound of breathing coming from the other guys. Minutes past and the singer kept tossing and turning, he was tired but he couldn't fucking sleep. He heard George turn over and sigh 'Matty stop, please.'

And before Matty could even think, the words 'Sleep with me' came out his mouth so quietly, he didn't even think George heard. 

The next thing he knew, the drummer was climbing in next to Matty, and pulling him onto his chest 'not enuff room' he said sleepily. Matty was lead on his chest, his nose pressed into his skin, the familiar smell of fags and George. He ran his hands up from Matty's ass, up to his back, to his neck, until they both fell asleep. 

 

***

The next day was pretty hectic and Matty still hadn't had time to properly think about all the shit that had gone on between them. However the show went great and the crowd were loud, giving all of them plenty of energy to do what they do best. Matty could practically feel life light his body as George hit sticks down on his drums. 

***

'Matty, do you want me to come back to your room. We can have a beer and stuff' George looked nervous as he said that and for the life of him Matty couldn't work out why. It annoyed him that George looked nervous, he had no right to feel that way, they had been friends for 14 years and now George looks worried to ask if he can come to spend time with Matty. 'Of course you can you idiot.' The sentence came out more harshly than Matty would have liked, and he was momentarily angry with himself for making it sound that way. George looked even more worried and all Matty could do was give him a half smile. 

They wandered up to Matty's room an sat on the bed with the minibar door open wondering on what drinks to have. After not being able to decide, they got one of each and lead them in a pile in the middle of the bed. George had found the menu for room service and it wasn't long before he was ringing reception asking for practically everything they did. 'You're such a dick' Matty laughed 'when we get a bill of a grand from the hotel I'm gunna bill you.'

'That's okay' George said 'weird though init, like we don't have to care about money anymore you know.'

'Yeah it is' Matty thought to himself, because he generally was still not used to it. He didn't think he ever would be either. 'Remember that time in America when you made me sleep in the bath because there was no more room in the bed?'

George laughed again, which made Matty smile, it was probably his favourite sound. 'Yeah I do, then you woke up screaming in the night because a spider was on the wall.' 

Matty hit George playfully, 'you saved me though' 

'Yeah I did, I always save you' George said, much too quietly for Matty's liking. 

They both jumped at the sound of the hotel door bell ringing. They were greeted by enough food for at least 6 people, all Matty could do was laugh and shake his head as George dug into his extra large pepperoni pizza. Half an hour later and they were lead on the bed, watching some shitty romantic movie, barley able to move from the amount of food they'd eaten. Luckily the beer was still in a plenty full supply. 

'Fuck I need a piss' George announced as he climbed off the bed and made his way into the bathroom. Matty grabbed his fags and opened the window, the air was cold but it was nice. He loved watching cities at night. He was snapped out of his thoughts by George standing next to him 'not allowed to smoke in here you know' as he lit his fag and joined Matty watching the buzz below them. 

They got back in bed and sat in silence watching the movie. 'So cliche' Matty said to himself as the couple finally admitted they loved each other just before the credits popped up. George on the other hand was picking at their food again, Matty just rolled his eyes and wondered if he was actually living with a pig. He picked up the remote and flicked through the channels. 

'Oh strawberries dipped in chocolate.' Matty looked over to see George stuffing his face once again. He shook his head and carried on watching the TV, he had stumbled upon the music channel and was intrigued at the fact half this shit was even classed as music. 

'Matty have a strawberry, they're your favourite' George was sat next to Matty trying to force him to try these fucking strawberries. Matty had said no at least 6 times now, but he was giving in, if it shut George up he'd probably eat a lot at that moment. George giggled as he popped the strawberry in Matty's mouth, leading them both to fits of laughter. Just like old times Matty thought to himself as he took another swig of his beer. 

Infact they were about to turn off the lights for the night when George leant over to wipe some chocolate from the corner of Matty's mouth, he let his thumb linger on his cheek for longer than was needed. Their eyes locked and once again they were going for each other's mouthes. 

Georges tongue filled Matty's mouth like he was hungry, and not for food. It was wet and messy but neither cared. Matty's hands were all over Georges back as he pulled at his hair, pulling his lips even closer to his own. He never realised kissing could be such a turn on, their tongues slid against each other and neither could hardly even breathe. 

'This is fucking wrong' George whispered, he was leant over Matty and he hadn't even hardly moved. His breath smelt like fags and Matty wanted more. He dragged him down again, moaning as his tongue slid in his mouth once again. George pulled apart again 'we can't do this its wrong', but his cock was rock hard and waiting for Matty's touch. 'Fuck it.' They practically launched at each other, it was different to last time, there was more want, more lust and more need. George almost ripped Matty's shirt in half as he tore it off his back. He pulled off his own and their bare chests stuck together with sweat as they kissed once again. 

Matty was so fucking hard and he needed to get out of his jeans, he needed George. He flipped them over so he was on top now, his legs stretched across George and their cocks rubbing together. They were practically thrusting at each other trying to release some of the tension. The drummer pulled away again and flipped Matty back into his back 'shit this is wrong we can't do this' but he didn't move, and Matty knew he wasn't going to. 'Please don't stop' Matty sounded so weak but he just didn't care anymore. George kissed him gently and looked up 'how drunk are you?'

'Drunk enough to know I want this but not drunk enough to know I'll regret it' Matty said honestly. That was all George needed before he went down again, sucking at Matty's neck, nipples and chest, leaving little marks as he went. When he got to his belt, he waited for Matty to just nod before undoing his jeans and pulling them off. George flipped him over so he was lying on his chest, Matty was glad as he buried his face into the mattress. His face was burning a deep shade of red and he was so embarrassed, but yet he still didn't want to stop. He couldn't stop the moan escaping his mouth when he felt George run his tongue from the top of his neck down to the top of his arse. The drummer took off his boxers and got a handful of his ass, pulling his cheeks apart and rubbing Matty where he never thought anyone on earth would never go. He was just getting used to it when George flipped him back over and lay over him once again, Matty didn't even realise he'd also taken off his own jeans. He tried not to look as he saw George leaking precum through his boxers, Matty swallowed hard and looked back up to his eyes. 'You sure yeah' George asked as he got a handful of the singers cock. 'Uhhuh yeah fuck' was all Matty could manage. At once George released his grip and walked away to the bathroom. 

When he came back out he had a bottle of lube in his hand, 'thank god for expensive hotels eh.' Matty's stomach was going in knots and his heart was racing 'have you ever done this before' his voice came out weak. George sat back down and looked at him 'well yeah with girls, but this is different you know, like I don't wanna hurt you but I know I will.' Matty sat up and kissed George, he hated all this, this was his best friend and they shouldn't be even thinking about it, let alone doing it, yet it still felt so right. 'I'll be fine' Matty tried his best to sound confident. 'Lay down' Georges voice came out as a whisper. Matty gulped and lay down on his front again, he buried his head in the pillow and tried not to shake.

Nothing on earth could have prepared him for the feeling of Georges finger inside him, it hurt but at the same time it felt good. 'Relax' George breathed into his neck as he kept going over the spot which made Matty's insides curl and almost come right there. He was wining and it was burning but he still didn't want to stop. All too quickly George pulled out and flipped him over, it felt weird without that pressure there. Matty couldn't help but stare when George took his boxers off, he was huge and his cock was rock hard against his stomach. Matty swallowed, 'shit.' 

George lead him back down again and grabbed a pillow to put under his hips. Matty was so scared he wanted to say no, this was wrong and stupid, but he wanted to give this to George as much as he wanted it himself. He watched the drummer click the lid of the lube again, coat his hand, the fist his cock. Matty was so turned on he couldn't even think. George leant over him once more and positioned himself over Matty. He could feel the bluntness of the drummers cock against his ass, and he knew this was going to be so fucking painful. All he could manage was to quietly whisper 'George' before his cock was inside him. Matty cried out at the pain, it was the worst thing ever, but he still didn't want to stop. Tears were streaming down his face and he couldn't stop fucking wining. George on the other hand hadn't moved, his breathing was deep and he just kept saying 'fuck shit shut' to himself. After a few seconds of adjusting to the pain, Matty wanted to go again, he managed to grab a handful of Georges hair, pull him down for a open mouthed kiss, then whisper 'fuck me' in his ear. That was all the permission George needed to start thrusting into Matty's tight little body. He bottomed out so many times and Matty couldn't even think anymore, because as much as it was painful, he was still so turned on, and George kept hitting that spot inside him over and over again. The only thing he could grab was Georges back, and he couldn't even begin to think about the marks he was leaving. 

All to soon he heard George say he was going to come, at least he must have done. As soon as George went still, he felt him spill inside him. The drummer collapsed on top of him, letting his full weight press into Matty's body. They were both soaked with sweat but George just nestled his head info Matty's neck. The singer just wrapped his arms around him and held him tight as they tried to not breathe so hard. Matty's erection was digging into Georges belly, and the drummer didn't forget about it. He fisted Matty's cock up and down, 3 times at the most before the singer spilled all over his own chest with a gut wrenching groan. 

They just lead there in each other's arms for a while, covered in sweat and come, wondering what the fuck they'd just done. George moved first, 'come on let's shower' and he took Matty's hand and lead him into the bathroom. Matty was so sore in between his legs that when he stood up he practically collapsed against Georges body. It hurt so bad and he was so tired, but he knew George would take care of him.

They stood in the shower with the water running over them, Matty's head in Georges chest, George with his head resting on Matty's wet curls. They were both so tired that they just sunk to the floor of the shower, still in the same position. Matty was sat on Georges lap and once again this was so wrong yet he just couldn't feel like he wanted to move. They sat in silence for a while longer before George had to physically pick Matty up and carry him to bed. Matty felt so weak, tired and so exposed. But the last thing he remembered saying before he fell into a deep sleep was 'don't leave me' and the last thing he remembered, was George climbing in behind him, pressing his chest into his back, and wrapping an arm around him like he never would let go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is pretty baddd but it should get better again! Thank you guys

George sat and sighed, if he thought about it truthfully, it always had been about Matty. They'd known each other for 14 years for fucks sake, and back then it was always just doing stupid shit together. They'd go and cause shit in the local shopping centre, or buy nos and laugh so much they'd pass out. It was always Matty and George this and Matty and George that. 

Neither of them even had second thoughts on their friendship until they first kissed. George didn't think even think he'd ever go near a guy in that way, he loved tits, he loved the taste as he went down on girls. Most of all he loved Jessy, his girlfriend, who for the first time ever, actually loved him back. 

He was soon snapped out of his thoughts by Matty wondering into the bathroom. George couldn't help but smirk as the singer stumbled around like someone had lit a firework up his arse. 'Fuck off' Matty just looked at him and scowled, then grabbed his toothbrush and ushered George out the bathroom. 

He picked out an oversized black tshirt and tried to control his hair. Matty had knotted it with his hands so much last night that it looked like George had been plugged into an electric socket. He was just thinking about whether he and Matty should actually talk about last night when there was a loud knock at the door. 

Ross was stood there with an expression George couldn't quite read on his face. 'Where the fucks Matty?' Ross asked, looking exactly like he knew where Matty was. 

'Um, he's' George was normally the calm type, but he was seriously having a hard time trying to lie to Ross. 

Luckily, or unluckily, George couldn't decide, Matty stepped out of the bathroom with his hair in a bun wearing Georges white tshirt from last night. He was drowning in the size and George was momentarily amazed there were no come stains. 'Knew it' Ross looked generally pleased with himself. 

'Knew what' Matty asked coolly. 'Look ive noticed for a while now there's something going on between you two, and I won't tell Hann or John, just don't let it effect anyone else' Ross sounded pretty serious about this.

George looked at Matty hoping he'd say something, but for once the singer looked generally lost for words. 'It's not what you think' George said, sounding unconvincing even to himself. Matty rolled his eyes and Ross left the room. 

'So what exactly is this then huh' Matty asked, putting on that voice to make you feel like you're the smallest person on earth. 'What do you want it to be' Georges voice broke and he felt intimidated. He wanted Matty, but he was sure it was for the wrong reasons. 

Matty once again look lost for words, and he put on that face where he was trying to think of something to say, which also usually meant he would dodge the question. 'I don't know George, we'll just have to see won't we' and with that, he walked out the door. George was left sat on the bed feeling flustered, he was confused, and he needed some weed. 

It was a routine of having breakfast, then maybe doing a shitty interview for a radio, then doing sound check, then chilling, the performing. Matty always got homesick the most, but he also seemed to suit the lifestyle more than the others. George loved what they did, he just sometimes wish they'd have more time to relax. His tendinitis was okay, but it would play up sometimes, and he was always terrified of the day he'd have to give up doing what he did best. There was no other feeling in the world like hitting his drums with all his strength and creating that sound for their band. Nothing could compete with it, no weed, no alcohol and not even sex. Although last night with Matty did come close, but George just took this as a fact he was horny. 

He sat with a blunt watching Matty sing some song he'd never heard before. His fingers plucked away at the strings, while his angel like voice skimmed over the words. It was like a second nature for George to find his fingers drumming along with the rhythm on the leather sofa. He thought back to Matty last night, needing each other like they were hungry. He couldn't work out why it didn't feel weird, fucking your guy best friend, yet it just felt natural. Momentarily George felt bad for Jessy, he'd just cheated on her, but as long as she never found out, one fuck wouldn't matter. George was almost certain it wouldn't happen again anyway. 

He watched Matty from his platform for his drums that night, watching the singer release all his energy on stage. The more Matty went crazy, the more the crowd did, and the more life it gave George. Matty turned to him and smirked during their performance of sex, and George had no idea how he managed to not fuck the beat up. It was clear Matty was sore between his legs by the way he was jumping up and down. George felt his cock stir in his jeans, he rolled his eyes and carried on playing for the final few seconds. 

Back in their dressing room Adam was eyeing them both up. 'What ya looking at Hann' Matty asked as he took a swig of wine, from the bottle this time. 'You know, Ross told me, and I don't really want to know, but seriously guys if i ever catch you I will chop both your bollocks off,' and with that, Adam walked out the room. 

'For fucks sake' George said, 'Ross you snake.' John walked in, looked around, then walked back out again after looking at the expressions on their faces. 

***  
They were stood in the hotel corridor that night, and George was about to make the right decision, to go back to his room, and spend the night alone. But Matty soon changed that, unnecessary pushing his bum into Georges crotch as he 'tried to find his room key.' George just stood there and gritted his teeth as his cock swelled in his trousers, Matty knew exactly what he'd done and didn't even turn around to check if the drummer was following him into his room. 

George just stood there in Matty's room wondering what the fuck to do next. He shouldn't have done this and he was starting to regret it, but he soon forgot about that when Matty started pushing him into the wall. George couldn't even think, so he just let Matty control him. The singer sucked at his neck but all George could do was let little moans escape his mouth as he grabbed a handful of Matty's ass. They stood kissing and touching each other in every way possible, until all at once Matty dropped to his knees. 

George knew what this meant, and he was nervous, not quite as nervous as how Matty looked though. The drummer rubbed his thumb over Matty's lip. He breathed heavily as Matty's hands clumsily fumbled with his belt as he pulled down his trousers. George thought he was almost going to faint when Matty yanked down his boxers, his cock hit his stomach and he could hardly even breathe. He was just about to ask if this was the right thing to do when Matty kissed the tip. The last thing George was going to do now was stop. 

Matty put the full head in his mouth, and pushed down on Georges cock. George couldn't even breathe properly and the only bit of relief he had was entwining his fingers in Matty's hair and pulling at his curls. Matty somehow got most of Georges cock in his mouth and gagged. The sight of Matty knelt down on the floor gagging for it almost made George come right there, but he was determined to make it last a little longer. Matty started to suck up and down, he got a rhythm going, and all too soon George felt his muscles start to tighten. 

'Matty m gunna come stop if you don't want it in your mouth' George managed to get out, but Matty didn't stop. The drummer spilled his load in Matty's mouth, and Matty swallowed every last drop. George fell to the floor, knee to knee with Matty, his head low and buried in the singers chest. 'Fuck' was all George managed to say for a few minutes after he came down from his orgasm. 'Are you sure you've never done that before?' He asked. Matty just shook his head, looking rather shocked yet pleased at what he'd just done. 

George soon noticed Matty bulging out his trousers, he stood up and walked the singer to their bed. With a gentle push Matty fell onto his back. George leaned over him and took off his tshirt, then sucked at his nipples and took off his jeans. George didn't quite know what to do when Matty's cock sprung free of his boxers, he'd had this done plenty of times, but this was just different. He started how he'd had it done, at the tip, and went all the way down. Matty's hips bucked and with a few more sucks, he came in Georges mouth. George was surprised by the taste, it was salty, but not unpleasant. There was no doubt that Matty was the only one he'd do that with though. 

After a few minutes of lying there naked ontop of the bed, Matty sat up and lit a fag. 'What do ya think George, because i mean I ain't gunna say no if you aren't?' George just sighed and said the answer he shouldn't have 'Don't wanna stop.' 

Matty smiled and put the fag in Georges mouth, 'I'm going for a shower.'

***   
Infact they didn't stop, for the almost the whole American leg of the tour they fucked at every practical moment. In the end Jamie only bothered to book them one hotel room between them. 

Matty would wake up to Georges face buried in his chest and their hard ons rubbing together. George would wake up to a face full of tattoo and they'd rub off on each other. It was like a morning routine. On evenings they didn't always fuck, they'd experiment with blow jobs and George always loved the touch of Matty's hands on his cock. 

The first time they had shower sex they'd broken the glass in a hotel and caused a rather large bill. It was going fine until George hit Matty's prostate so hard that the singer collapsed on the door pulling George down with him. They landed on a soaking wet floor laughing into each other's chests. 

Poor Ross and John had also caught them in the dressing room once, apparently a view of George's bare bollocks and Matty's ass crack is not something you forget in a hurry. 

There was also that time when they picked up a fan at a meet and greet and both fucked her until there was so much come, all 3 almost passed out. 

Infact it was all going well, and they were both happy and content, until Jessy phoned and said she was coming on tour with them. Something about how she can work from a laptop and she just wanted to be around George. George thought this would be fine, he missed her, but telling Matty was the hardest thing he'd ever done. Of course Matty had acted like he just didn't care, but George know he did. That high pitch voice he did and the way he just stomped off saying he was going out. 

***

When Jessy did come over it was fine, at least that's what George told himself. But the sex was never the same, and everytime he saw Matty he just wanted to shove him into the wall and kiss the life out of him. He saw the looks Matty have him too, he knew they wanted each other. 

***

George looked over to see Matty had fallen asleep on the sofa, he was curled up and looked like a foetus. George sighed as he watched him softy breathe in and out. All George wanted to do was curl up next to Matty, put his arms around his waist, and press his chest to his back. But that wasn't practical anymore, George had a girlfriend, he loved her. 

George looked over at Matty just a few seconds longer before shutting his laptop and walking over to the smaller man. He ran a finger down his arm, Matty was cold. George leant down and gently scooped him up into his arms, climbed the stairs, and put him in his bunk. He couldn't help himself run his finger over his cheek as he pulled the covers around his body. George didn't even think twice before leaning down and gently kissing Matty where his finger had just been. With one last look at Matty, he sighed and climbed into his own bunk.

He signed and flung his arm over his head. It was for the best, he couldn't keep cheating on his first serious girlfriend with the guy he'd called his best friend since they were kids. The emotions of it were bringing the whole team down. They had music and fans to focus on, not just to fuck each other when they were horny. 

'But it's more than that now' George thought to himself. It was intimate and he just wanted to care and protect Matty, to do anything to make him happy. He got jealous when Matty flirted with fans. He'd always just seen Matty as his best friend, but they'd crossed that line now, and George wasn't sure whether he even wanted to go back to just being that. His breathing shook as he turned over, his arm stretching out to find a non existent Matty in his bed. He clicked his phone open to find 6 missed calls from Jessy, fuck, he'd promised to go back to the hotel with her tonight. With one last sigh, he turned back over and finally went to sleep. 

What George didn't know, is that Matty wasn't actually asleep on the sofa. All Matty wanted was to smell Georges scent of fags and be in his arms again. He knew, at least he hoped, George wouldn't just leave him there. When he felt Georges lips on his skin, he almost cried out. Matty knew what was wrong with him, he just wasn't ready to even admit it to himself yet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be the last ahhh

The next week went past fast and soon it would be home for a couple of months until festival season started, they'd been touring for a while now and a break was well deserved. When Matty was onstage he felt like he was invincible, like his whole life was in that hour and a half of music. He could sing and forget about reality, just letting the beat light his soul as he sang to the crowds. Without music, Matty knew he wouldn't even still be here. There was just too many drugs and stresses of life to bring him down, and many a time he had lead there just wanting to never wake up. He'd roll over in bed and catch a glimpse of his guitar on its stand, then sit on the floor with it, just singing random songs or making new tunes. It was like music transported him to a place where he could just be forever happy and himself. 

There was also one other thing which could snap him out of his thoughts for the better, and that was George. 

But Georges attention was with someone else now, someone who he loved and wanted to spend his life with. Matty could feel all his past thoughts try to haunt him when he was alone at night in the dark. He'd try burning his face into the pillow and sleeping, but instead he just lay awake wondering what the hell to do. He tried writing songs but they were all just too sad, Matty never even knew his words could go so deep. 

There was also many a time when he'd sit there playing with his hands or chipping his nail polish and he'd just crave a line so bad. It was all he could do to just stick with weed and hope the feeling went away. He just wanted to sit and not feel anything at all, just be living, but on a constant wave of nothing. However he knew for everyone's sake it would just cause shit again. He shuddered as he remembered the time a while ago went he was so addicted that cocane was all he craved. He'd hide it in secret places and go off often to snort the powder up his nose. He lied to everyone, his friends, his family, the people he loved most. 

It was George who saw something was wrong the most, Matty just wasn't Matty anymore. They never laughed at the same stupid jokes anymore, never went to clubs getting paralytic anymore, never would just sit watching a film with their legs entwined with each other anymore. This new person was dull and not thinking about anything the way they should. Matty would be sweating and shaking until he sneaked out to get his fix. One night George followed Matty and caught him pouring the powder on the bathroom sink and using his card to make a line. Matty had never seen George look so hurt. It was in that moment that he realised how stupid he'd been. He could just remember George saying 'why' over and over again as he sat on the floor with his head in his hands. In fact in a stupid way, that was one of the first times Matty felt properly cared for by someone who wasn't his mum. He knew as he sat with tears running down his cheeks trying to apologise to George that he couldn't hurt him anymore. Matty had got proper help and he became a new, better person who craved making music and making people happy. Even when he craved it now he'd just think back to the look of pure heartbreak on Georges face and it made him cringe. He'd brush the feeling off and put his headphones in on full blast. 

Matty smiled when he listened to his own music, knowing it made thousands of people feel the way they do continuously warmed his heart. He'd often sit and read the floods of letters from their fans. He never seemed to get bored of hearing how his music changed and saved people's lives. Everyone had their song and a story to go with it, it humbled Matty to know they'd saved so many lives. He wished he could have a chance to thank every one of the fans back, they just felt like family to him now. As much as he might have saved their lives, they'd also saved his. He did what he did as much for their fans, like a family, when Matty didn't want to continue with the song he was writing, he'd just think of all the people he had somehow helped. 

***

Matty was sat in a bar somewhere in New York, he wasn't entirely sure of the exact location, but why would that matter anyway. He was picking at a packet of peanuts while drinking some expensive red wine, the two flavours really not matching up. Matty didn't really care though, he was on his 6th glass and the room was starting to spin. He almost liked being drunk more than high, when he was drunk he didn't really care for anything, and at the moment, that was exactly how he needed to feel. 

They'd finished today's show and Matty had decided to go out, he'd been doing that a lot over the last week. He just couldn't stand being there to watch George plant little kisses on Jessy's cheek, or put his hand on her back while they walked. It made Matty sick to the stomach. He wasn't used to being the jealous type, he got his way so often he never had time to even feel jealous. But Matty couldn't control this, and it made him feel like total shit. The atmosphere between him and George was awkward too, and everyone else had picked up on it. Ross had tried talking to Matty time and time again, but he just shook his head and walked out the room. They tried not to let it effect their performances, but they were becoming out of sync, and it couldn't carry on. 

Matty paid up and rubbed his eyes. Unlocking his phone he saw it was almost 2am, he also had various missed calls and texts, but be cleared the notifications, who cares. He stood outside the bar in the spring air, it wasn't warm but it wasn't cold either. Just that fresh night air where everything smells crisp and nice. Matty decided to take a walk down the street, his head was pretty clear considering the situation at the moment, and he just strolled along whistling to himself. He couldn't walk in a straight line but at least he could actually stand up. He came across a homeless guy and dropped him all the cash he had. 'Poor guy' Matty said to himself, he was momentarily annoyed at himself for being such an idiot sometimes. There were people out there with no homes and money, and he got in a strop when something didn't go his way. 

He arrived back at his hotel and leant his head against Georges door. He sighed and went to his own room, passing out without even getting undressed.

***

A week later and they were in Washington DC for the second to last show of the tour. They were at some venue in the city and Matty was sat reading some newspaper on politics when he heard the door click. He didn't even need to look up to know it was George. The drummer looked tired and even a little bit sad. Matty sat up and leaned back in his seat, 'what's the matter.' 

George leaned against the table and picked up a lighter, he put the fag in his mouth and breathed out slowly. He looked out the window and stayed silent. Matty was usually patient when it came to George, but not now. He sighed loudly, folded his paper up on the seat next to him, and followed George over to the window. 

'What is the matter, tell me' Matty asked, his voice came out weaker than expected and he felt slightly intimidated. George breathed out the smoke into the singers face and threw the rest of his cigarette out the window 'you, you are the matter.'

Matty practically lunged himself at Georges face, and George pulled his waist to his own so hard that they were practically winded. Matty couldn't stop the little whines escaping his mouth as their tongues entwined and slid together. George had his fist tightly in Matty's hair and they didn't stop for oxygen until it felt like they were going to pull away. 

After what seemed an age they did pull away, breathless and almost shocked at what they'd done. They stood a few meters apart watching each other, both wanting to carry on not not knowing what move to make next. 'Fuck, I want you' George managed to finally say. Matty just laughed 'what while anyone including your girlfriend could walk in any minute'. 'Ross and John are sightseeing, Adams at the hotel, and Jessy's catching up some mates she knows' Georges voice came out uneasy, he knew Matty was right, there were a lot of crew around. And most of all, he'd be cheating on his girlfriend again. 

Matty didn't even care if anyone did walk in, his cock was hard and needing Georges touch. They hadn't gone anywhere like that for over a weak now and it was starting to kill him. A quick wank now and then when no one else was around really wasn't satisfying him at all. He walked back over to George and stood on his tip toes as he went for his mouth again. Matty worked his hands and palmed the drummer through his jeans. Georges cock was pulcing and Matty wanted it. 

George leant down and sucked at Matty's shoulder, then at once he put his hands on his arse and picked him up. Matty had his legs around Georges waist and his cock was almost suffocating. Luckily George dumped him down on the leather sofa and lead across over the top of Matty, opening his shirt and tugging at his nipples firmly, but pleasurable, with his teeth. Matty grabbed a handful of hair and yanked George back up to his mouth again, he always craved his tongue so bad. Matty made smooth work of taking Georges t-shirt off and lightly scratching his fingernails down his back. 

George went for Matty's neck again and the singer could practically feel him leaving marks as he went. Matty didn't care though, he wanted to be reminded of this moment, especially if he'd have to go without it for so long again. He was snapped out of his thoughts when George opened his jeans and yanked them down. Matty was leaking pre cum through his boxers and George didn't think twice about leaning down and licking over the damp material. Matty's hips almost bucked when he felt Georges tongue over the head of his cock. He was trying not to make any noise but he couldn't help the whines escaping his body. 

Matty sat up and pulled George into a sitting position, he undid the drummers jeans and grabbed a handful of his cock. George slid out of his jeans and sat there in nothing but his boxer shorts. Matty couldn't help but admire his back, it was always his favourite part of George, and now he got to actually touch it. The pair sat and looked at each other for a second before George went back down on Matty's mouth again. Neither had found kissing a turn on much until they'd tried it with each other. Their cocks were rubbing together and if they carried on Matty was sure he was going to come there and then. 

Luckily George pulled away and sat up a little 'do you trust me?' Matty looked a little shocked at this, because of course he trusted George with his life, but he couldn't help but worry about what was going to happen next. 'Course I do,' his voice came out weaker than Matty was expecting, but he was nervous and George knew it. 

'Turn over and put your knees under your chest.' George also looked a little worried. Matty did as he was told, he felt exposed, like he wanted to run out of the room and cry from all his feelings. But this was George, and however intimate this got, however exposed he was, it never felt awkward or unnatural. Matty lead there quivering slightly as he felt George lean over him from behind and kiss the back of his neck. Georges pulled down his boxers and felt his fingers lightly brush over Matty's back causing the singer to have another rush of whatever it was he was feeling. Georges fingers circled his cheek until he whispered 'suck them' in his ear. Matty sucked on Georges fingers, they felt like they were touching the back of his tonsils, but no way near the size of his cock. He sucked on them until George retracted his fingers and did the same pattern down his back the opposite way until he got to Matty's ass. 

Matty never could prepare his body in time for the pressure, and he couldn't help the moan that escaped his mouth as George circled the pink muscle. With one last kiss to his neck the drummer entered his finger into Matty and circled his prostate. Matty cried out with pleasure again and George entered another finger. He circled the sweet spot until Matty started to clench his thighs, then George withdrew his finger. 'Fuck you' was all Matty could manage to say, the loss of pressure was agonising. The singer was prepared to take Georges cock but instead he felt his tongue on his back. George continued to lick down until he was close to Matty's most private place. 

'You're fucking joking' was all Matty could manage to get out before he felt Georges tongue lick the muscle between his legs. When his tongue skimmed over his hole for the first time Matty practically jumped. His fingers were trying to claw at the sofa but the only thing he could get hold of was an old pillow. He buried his face in it and cried out loudly when Georges tongue entered his body for the first time. It felt wet and blunt, but so fucking good. George kept circling his tongue inside Matty, and the singer was going to loose it at any moment. He had tears streaming down his cheeks and George didn't stop eating his ass, using his whole mouth as well as his tongue. 

'Fuck I'm gunna come' Matty at least thought he said. George fisted his cock and with one stroke the singer came. At once he was showered by his own white stuff as it hit his chest, then he collapsed on the sofa in a sweaty quivering mess. He managed to roll over and was greeted by George looking rather dazed. Matty somehow found the strength to reach down and pump George roughly until the drummer came all over his chest, adding to his own. 

George practically collapsed on him and they just lead there with hair sticking to their faces and come on their chests. It seemed like an age before George looked up and wiped the tears off Matty's cheeks with his thumb. 

'Was that alright' George generally looked concerned, and all Matty could do was nod and laugh a little. If he was totally honest, that was the most powerful and best orgasm he'd ever had in his life. 

'I think we need a shower.' Matty suddenly remembered his chest was covered in their sticky come and it wasn't great, even if he was enjoying Georges arms around him again. 

*** 

Matty was stood trying to control his hair after their shower. They had been in there for far too long just enjoying the feeling of each other's arms with the water cascading down over them. Matty felt like his hair had been plugged into an electric socket, his curls were twice as wild as normal. Luckily he kept an emergency hair band round his wrist and managed to tame the curls into a bun. 

They were stood in just their jeans purely enjoying each other's company when Matty heard voices from the stairs. George grabbed their t-shirts from the floor and passed Matty his. They sat down on the sofa and looked up to see Jessy, Ross, John, Adam and Jamie walk into the rooms. 

Matty held his breath. He knew for a fact all of the accept Jessy knew what had just gone in by the look on their faces. Adam just rolled his eyes while Ross tried to hide his smirk. John just stood there knowingly while Jamie sighed and walked over to the packet of biscuits on the table. 

'Hey you' Jessy said as she rushed over to George and kissed him on the mouth. Matty couldn't help but find it amusing how she didn't have a clue, but his thoughts were soon taken over by a jealousy that hit the pit of his stomach. He cringed as he watched her rub Georges shoulders. She had him as a whole, Matty was just there when he felt like it. 

Matty looked up to 4 pairs of eyes on him, he gave them a 'fuck off' look and grabbed his coat. He walked out the room without giving George a second glance. All he could hear was Jessy rambling on about how she'd booked a restaurant for her an George after the show tonight. Matty walked into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle to make himself a coffee. He also managed to find some fags and took a long deep breath of smoke. He was jealous, and upset, George was his best friend and would never be anything else, yet Matty was sad. 

Moments later Ross walked in, 'ah there you are, I've been looking for you.' 'Why' was all Matty could manage, he wasn't in the mood for any stupid shit. Ross sighed and walked over 'look, it's not hard to see how you feel, we can see it when you look at him.. Was just wondering if you wanna talk you know.' Matty wasn't in the mood at all, 'for fucks sake Ross, were just friends who sometimes fuck, that is it.' And with that, he stormed out the kitchen. 

Matty knew Ross was right, but was he really showing it that bad? Maybe he shouldn't pay as much attention to George for a while. Considering he'd be with Jessy constantly for the next few days, was there any need anyway. 

***  
Matty ignored George for the rest of the day. He sat on his phone during their usual rounds of Fifa and just listened to his music. Fallingforyou kept coming on shuffle, and Matty got even more annoyed. He didn't want to eat and he just felt weak, he knew what he wanted, what he needed, but he just couldn't have it. 

George tried to corner him in the dressing room, to ask him what was going on. Matty just shook his head and pushed past, it was clear George didn't and would never feel the same. 

On stage that night Matty was emotional, he cried through me and robbers. By the end of the set he was just lead in a heap on the floor with no energy to even move. He could hardly remember George coming and carrying him off stage, he could however remember thousands of pairs of worried eyes staring, wondering what was going on with him. Matty laughed at that thought, he didn't even know himself. 

George had insisted he sat with Matty until he was okay again. Matty had just told him to fuck off and enjoy himself on his shitty date. He was better after a coffee and a blunt anyway, and spent the rest of the night with John watching some weird American TV programmes. He flicked on his phone to see thousands of worried messages and posts about him across social media. It warmed Matty's heart to see how many people actually did care for him, and he sent a quick tweet saying how he was fine to try and reassure everyone. 

John soon left and Matty was left to sleep, luckily he was too tired to have many thoughts of Jessy right now in the place Matty was today. 

***

Matty shot up right in bed, something had woken him up and he could work out what. 'Hey' he heard a voice, it was George. 'I didn't mean to scare you.' He was failing miserably to whisper, 'just wanted to check how you are.' The side of the bed pressed down and even in the darkness Matty could tell he was sat facing him. 'I'm fine' Matty said bluntly. He heard George sigh, 'what's got into you, did you not like what we did, you should have stopped me you know.' Matty felt slightly bad, he knew George was worrying and it wasn't totally his fault. 

'For fucks sake, no it's not that, I'm just tired' Matty lied. 'How was your date?' He didn't mean for the last sentence to come out so sarcastic as it sounded. 'Yeah was good you know, average stuff, Jessy's asleep though and I wanted to check on you' George failed to whisper again. 'Well I'm fine, you better get back you know' Matty could feel the tears burning in the back of his eyes and he wasn't prepared to breakdown again. He felt George move closer and held his breath at was to come next. 'Hey come here' was all George said before he wrapped his arms around Matty and pulled him out of bed onto his lap. Matty had never been so thankful for a dark room in his life, his lip was quivering and he was biting his lip so hard he could taste blood. 

He nestled his head into Georges neck and just enjoyed the moment of being in his arms. There was no other smell like George and no other arms like George, he was Matty's protection from the world out there. All too soon the drummer was letting go and Matty climbed back into bed. He felt the weight of the bed lift and the footsteps get quieter. 

'I'm sorry if you're pissed at me, whenever you need me I'm here okay, always' and with that George closed the door behind him. 

Matty finally let out the floods of tears he'd been holding in, they were hot and wouldn't stop flowing down his cheeks. 'I love you so fucking much, more than you'll ever know' he whispered, but George was already too far gone to hear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this isn't the last chapter as I have too many words! Last one will be though I promise :')
> 
> This ones also just in both their POVs and more on them and their feelings and stuff!

When George finally closed Matty's door that night he leant against the wall to stop himself from physically falling to the floor. He didn't want to let go, he just wanted to curl up with Matty and be with him. But now he found himself heading back to his room to be with his girlfriend, one who he should be with. George just lay there wide awake, he didn't have the smell of Matty's apple scented curls, or the little whines he sometimes made in his sleep. George sighed, all this had to stop, he had Jessy now. 

It pained George to know he would probably never feel Matty's touch on his cock again, that he'd never get to nibble little pink marks into his collar bone. George knew he shouldn't feel this way, Matty was his best friend and they were stupid to even do it once in the first place. They'd let it get too far now and their relationship had been hurt, not only that, it was having an effect on everyone else too. They didn't spend as much time with the others just playing stupid games and getting drunk anymore. It was like they'd gone off into their own little bubble, and it wasn't fair. 

***

It was the day of the last show of tour, sound check had gone well and Jamie had just walked in with way too many bottles of champagne than was needed. George laughed as Matty opened one which spilled everywhere. They'd talked often, but it wasn't the easy conversations they used to have. It was more of talking because they had to communicate about their music. Matty hadn't even looked Jessy in the eye and it was starting to get awkward. George couldn't understand why Matty was being so rude, he was never a rude person if he liked someone or not, nothing was ever too much trouble for him. That was one of the many things George admired so much about Matty, he'd always put others first, whether it was an autograph for a fan when they could hardly walk from being so tired, or an extra interview on their day off. Luckily Jessy hadn't seemed to notice Matty's behaviour and had likely just shrugged it off on him being exhausted from tour. George knew there was something wrong though, and he wasn't letting him get away with it. 

He finally caught Matty alone in their dressing room that night. He was about to pick out his checkered shirt which George was sure needed a wash by now, and grabbed his wrist. 'Matty what the fuck has got into you today, why are you being a dick to Jessy. She's only nice to you and you could fucking be nice back?' 

Matty looked up at him with his big brown eyes and he looked sad. George was quite shocked at just how broken his best friend looked, he hadn't seen him look this way in ages. 'Matty what's going on, you can tell me you know' George tried to gently rub his shoulder but Matty swatted his hand away. 'I don't know George, I just need to go home, im tired.' And with that, Matty walked out the room. George felt like someone had slapped him round the face, everything felt so weird. Maybe they did need to go home and be away from each other for a little while. 

The gig that night was loud and the crowd was full of energy. George was glad to see Matty dancing round the stage with a smile on his face, at least he was happy for a little while. 

***   
They all sat at the airport the next day waiting for their flight to be called. John and Ross were laughing at something on their phones, while Adam was off getting coffees. Jessy rested her head on Georges shoulder while Matty sat opposite them all with his headphones in tapping his foot on the floor. They were all tired the flight was delayed by another hour, George just wanted to go home and get into his own bed, well, maybe Matty's if he was honest. He could tell Matty was nervous, he was always anxious before flying but today he seemed especially on edge. George sighed and lifted his foot up to rest on the seat next to Matty, but the singer just slowly looked down then away again, not even catching a glimpse of George. 

Once they were boarded George couldn't help but keep glancing over at Matty. He was sat next to Hann who was eating a packet of cheese an onion crisps, Matty looked totally done with everything and as he looked up, George offered him a quick soft look of sympathy. Matty smiled back and George felt like he could breathe properly for the first time that day. At least he wasn't being ignored totally. 

Overnight flights were always the worst, the meals were always dry and it was always cold however many blankets were provided. George sat with his laptop trying to mix a certain song he had been working on for a while. 2 hours later it ended up sounding actually quite decent and George was annoyed he couldn't show Matty. He looked over to Jessy, she was asleep leant against the window. They'd hardly talked all day but George really wasn't in the mood to care at the moment. Next he looked over to Matty, the singer was sat there with his legs tucked under him and a glass of wine in his hand. He had inflight headphones on and his hair was flying out left right and centre. George smiled to himself and stood up, he needed to pee. Of course George being George forgot quite how tall he was and ended up bumping his head on the ceiling on the way up. 

He stood in the Isle and waited to see if Matty would actually look at him. The singer just stared straight ahead, George knew he knew he was there, he was just too stubborn to actually give in. George didn't even think twice when he let his finger drag slightly down Mattys neck. Matty shuddered but didn't move. George signed and made his way down the plane. 

The toilets were bright and George looked even more stoned as usual, but for once it was generally just because of how tired he was. He could never sleep on planes because of how damn uncomfortable they were, it was like a usual routine to go to the toilet at least once an hour. Most of the time he just stood there and wiped his face over with a hot towel. He'd always loved the smell of lavender. He washed his hands, and with one last look in the mirror, he opened the door. 

What George didn't expect, was to be greeted by Matty standing there. 'Shit, hey' but by the look in Mattys eyes, he wasn't there to pee. George let the singer push him back in the cramped stall and lock the door behind them. 'What the fuck' but George couldn't help himself bending down to reach under Mattys bum and pick him up, pressing him into the wall and waiting for his touch. His eyes were already closed as he felt the singers mouth on his, seconds later their tongues moulding together. George was biting at Mattys lip and the singer was whining with his hands threaded in Georges hair. George didn't even realise how he could miss something so bad. He let himself drop on the toilet seat with Matty still on his lap. Both their cocks were hard as rock but it wasn't about that for once. For now all both of them wanted was to feel each other. Their kiss went on for ages and by the end their lips were red raw and their mouthes soaked with saliva. Matty broke away and rested his head on Georges shoulder. Both sat not wanting to move letting their breathing return to a normal pace. 

George didn't want too move but he was sure they'd get caught very soon if they stayed. 'Matty..' 

'Fuck im sorry,' Matty got up way too fast for Georges liking. 'Im sorry, it can't happen again.'

Matty looked even more upset with himself than he did this morning. George didn't know what to do, 'stop saying sorry, just last time okay? it needs to stop now I suppose.' Georges voice came out way too unsteady than it should, mainly because he wanted anything but that to stop. 

'Yeah, sorry' Matty lowered his head, turned around, then walked out the door. 

A while later George turned his head to see what Matty was doing, he'd tried not to look at him for a while because it felt like you could cut the tension with a knife. The singer was sat with his head resting on Hanns shoulder and his mouth wide open. George smiled as he stood up quietly and wrapped Matty's blanket as well as his own around Matty's cold body. He was always cold, like an ice cube. George sat down and flicked through the inflight movies, he ended up watching toy story for the rest of the journey. 

***

When they were home things only got worse. Matty started to ignore George. At first George thought it was a good thing, they both needed rest and a breather from each other. But after 2 weeks of ignoring all his calls and texts, George started to get annoyed. He went round to Matty's house and had no answer at all. If George wasn't so clumsy he'd remember where he'd put the spare key and be able to let himself in. It was clear there was no one home so he just ended up spending the afternoon ranting to Ross over a pizza and game of Fifa. Adam also came round and it turned out Matty had been totally fine with all of them.

'I just don't get it' George said after his 5th beer 'we were fine you know.' But Ross just rolled his eyes and Adam came out with 'I think it's more than that though' before opening another beer for himself. By the end of the night George was so waisted he ended up sleeping on the sofa sending Matty way too many snapchats with the dog filter. 

What was worse, that in the morning Matty had opened and ignored every single one. George was upset and he didn't know what to do, even when he tried to make music it would just turn out like a dead tune. 

Jessy suggested going out, so they found themselves at a restaurant overlooking the Thames. George had fun and they bought candy floss and went on the Ferris wheel in the park. They fucked for the first time in ages and it felt good, he felt happy. But as soon as the lights went off and she fell asleep, his thoughts we're just taken back to Matty again. Who was he with? Was he safe? Was he in bed? Was he cold? 

George lead there until he got so bored he had to do something. He sat downstairs and made himself a coffee, just sitting at the table with the moonlight filtering through the curtains. George held his breath as he saw Matty had uploaded a snapchat story. He clicked on it to a selfie of him and Gemma. They were in her flat on the sofa, Matty looked stoned and she looked drunk. George had to physically stop himself from throwing his phone at the wall. He headed back to bed and lead there for another hour with the image burning in his head before he fell asleep. 

Two weeks turned into three weeks and still not a peep out of Matty. He felt like he had a scratch that he just couldn't itch until he saw him again. All he wanted was to know he was okay, George couldn't even work out what was wrong. But whatever was wrong he didn't understand why Matty couldn't just tell him. He'd always give him what he needed, and if he wanted space, why couldn't he just say. 

***

Matty sat on the train as it pulled away from Manchester station. He'd been home for a few days to see his family. It was nice to spend time with his little brother, taking him out to buy stuff and sitting playing Xbox all night. Matty had fun and he was annoyed at himself for not going more often. His mum had asked him about the others, and Matty was fine until she mentioned George especially. Matty had started shaking and ended up breaking down on his mothers shoulder. He can't even remember crying in front of her for years. But they'd sat down at the kitten table and he'd told her everything, more than he'd told Ross, Hann or anyone. She didn't even seem slightly surprised and had said she'd always thought they'd become something more. Matty just sighed, because they never actually had become more. It was just a few fucks to get through tour. 

He looked out the window to see his hometown slowly disappearing once again. It was time to go back to London, and time to actually face George. He couldn't keep going on like this forever, for one they had festival season in less than a month and they had to start practicing. He wasn't exactly sure what to say for his best friend, just beg for forgiveness and hope to make it up to him. There was no way he could actually tell him how he felt, he'd just have to live with it until they feelings went away. He unlocked his phone to see the 81 message notifications and 36 missed calls. Matty sighed and cleared them once again. If he was gunna do this he'd have to face him in person anyway. 

Boredom soon took over and Matty ended up scrolling through his photos. He laughed at all their stupid drunk selfies, there were so many of exactly the same pose. Matty clicked on the photos he took of George one night just after they'd fucked. He was lying on the bed with a fag in his mouth and hickeys all over his neck. Matty couldn't help but zoom in slightly as he scanned his eyes over his abs and broad chest. The photo stopped just below his v line and Matty felt his cock stir a little as he looked at the line of his pubes. He remembered the way they felt under his tongue and shuddered in a good way at the thought. 

Next he went onto his video album. Matty didn't know why he had taken up filming his band mates so much, mainly annoying them. He had every intention of making a video but he'd forgotten about the idea pretty quickly, so he was just left with useless short clips. He went on the one of George while they were making loving someone. That was well before any of the stuff between them started happening. He smiled as he remembered George being so proud of writing the chorus, even if it was only a few words. Matty's heart jumped slightly as George said 'you scared me' in that deep sleepy voice he does sometimes. What everyone else doesn't know, is that after that clip ended, George had pulled him over and slapped his ass, then sat him on his lap to show him the mix he'd just done for the last verse. While Matty thought about it, they'd always been pretty close, probably too close than was considered natural.

He put his music on shuffle and sipped his takeaway coffee as fleetwood mac blasted in his ears. He missed his best friend, more than he even realised. 

***  
Back in London, Matty decided he was going to see George, he didn't know when, but when it felt right he would go. For the time being he just went out to a shitty club with John, then puked in a bin on their way home. The next day he woke up with a banging headache and swore once again he was never drinking. 

***  
Matty was getting on Georges nerves, he didn't deserve to be treated like this. So he found himself stood outside his best friends house one afternoon. George took a deep breath and threw his cigarette in the bush. He knew Matty was in because he had begged Ross to tell him. Matty wasn't getting away with ignoring him again, George couldn't stand not having him around all the time. He missed every part of him, from his shitty rolled blunts, to having to clear up after him all the time. Matty was the messiest person George had ever come across, but he missed having to do all his washing up and folding his clothes after they were dumped on the floor. He missed the way he'd always tell George he was doing something wrong, and he was missing his soft voice as he sang some random songs over a glass of wine late at night. George felt like half of his heart had been taken away and he wasn't sure how much longer he could actually stand it. 

Jessy had noticed too, but of course he could never tell her the full story. George didn't know himself anymore. He loved Jessy and she understood him, but it was never the way Matty could. They were starting to argue because George never wanted to go out and have fun anymore. He was letting all this fuck up the one relationship which has actually felt right, but George didn't care anymore. If he was honest, all this had just made him realise that in a way, Matty was the only one he needed. 

He shuddered and hung his finger over the doorbell a few seconds before ringing the bell. Georges heart was pounding in his chest, if Matty closed the door on him he had no idea what he'd do. 

***   
Matty felt empty, he'd been drinking so much wine he was sure his blood was made of it. He'd also been going out and fucking random pretty models every night. But none of it was having any satisfaction on him anymore. Even when he met up with Gemma one night, nothing was the same anymore. It was good, and for a while he wasn't so damn horny anymore. It still didn't stop him sat in bed at night pumping his cock to the thought of Georges hands replacing his. 

It had had been almost a month, and none of the feelings had even slightly gone. It was worse because he was missing his best friend and all the stupid shit they used to do together. Matty sighed as he thought of what had happened between them, if he had stopped it when he could have, none of this would have happened. But at the same time, the times they did fuck we're the best he'd ever had. Matty was so confused about himself, he didn't find girls exactly attractive anymore in that way, but whether that was in general or just because of George he didn't know. 

Matty was sat on his bed in silence wondering what the fuck to do. He hadn't really been that active in the last week and even music wasn't helping to calm him down. The alcohol was getting boring, and every time he tried to smoke a blunt it would make him so paranoid he'd end up sitting on the floor shaking. He needed something stronger, something to make every feeling he had go away... He needed cocane. 

Matty stood up and went into his bathroom, every voice in his head was saying 'no' but he didn't care. His body needed this and there was no one there to stop him. He knelt down on the floor and reached in behind the back of the sink, it only took him a few seconds to feel for the small bag. He pulled it out and poured the powder out on the bathroom sink. Matty reached into his pocket and found his credit card to make it into a line. He was practically shaking where he was craving it so bad. He bent down and covered one nostril, he was just about to inhale, when the door bell rang. 

'For fucks sake' Matty jumped at the sound and stood up properly. He couldn't remembered what he'd ordered from Amazon this time. He quickly went down the stairs and unlocked the door. 

But there was no postman, and Matty was sure he felt his heart fall out. 'George' he said, it was barley a whisper.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to be the last, but ive decided to add a small extra one on the end. Im also going to start editing all the other chapters for mistakes and stuff!
> 
> P.s, this is soppy.. So if you don't like that kinda stuff.. Im sorry (but it's cute ok)

George just stood there on Mattys doorstep with not a clue what move to make next. Part of him was so stunned at how small and broken Matty looked he didn't even think he could talk, let alone move. The two stood just looking at each other until they both stepped forward and met each other in the middle with the tightest hug George had ever had. Matty practically melted into his body and George bent down to lean his head in his curls. He couldn't breathe properly and he still didn't know what to say. It seemed like nothing else even mattered when Matty was in his arms, all he could concentrate on was the warmth of his body and his familiar smell. He'd missed him so much and his heart practically ached at the memory of the past month. Their hug lasted way too long and they both slowly pulled away from each other. 

George stood looking down until Matty moved to the side to gesture him to actually come inside. 'Can't stand out there all day can you' the singer pointed out with a slight laugh. George carried on through the house until he got to the living room. It pretty much all looked the same, there were the odd few coffee cups around but the place was fairly tidy. Matty had noticed Georges surprise at the room, 'I spent most of my time in my study now I guess.' George nodded and sat down on the brown leather sofa, he just looked at Matty hoping he'd say something. Matty was never short for words until it was in situations like this. 

'Do you want a coffee?' Matty offered after a few seconds. George shook his head and Matty sat down next to him. They were both a little more relaxed now, but neither were used to the awkward silence of being around each other. 

'Im sorry for being such a fucking dick' Matty bit his lip. George wasn't sure how to deal with all this, he knew Matty inside and out but this time it was just different. It seemed like things had changed so much in such a short space of time.

'Hey, you don't need to be sorry. I just guess I wish you had told me what was going on.. Ive missed you so fucking much and I.. I don't know how to cope without you' George sighed, he wasn't used to having to admit things like this around Matty. 'Will you tell me what's going on? If you don't want me around just tell me, please.' 

Matty took a deep breath, of course he could never tell George the real reason why he'd done all this shit. He couldn't tell George that every feeling he thought might had gone, had just come back 10x worse. He couldn't sit and tell George all he wanted was him, for himself. He couldn't just kiss him, which was exactly what Matty wanted to do. He wasn't ready for this today, and he had so many emotions in his head he thought he might cry. But more than anything, George was sat on his sofa. And the only thing he wanted, was to be in his arms and tell him he loved him. Matty practically laughed at his own thoughts, because yes, he was in love with his best friend. Yes he was jealous of his best friends girlfriend, and yes he'd fucked up. But he had no idea what to do about it, and the thing he could do least of all was tell him. 

'Matty' George said gently. Matty was jumped at his voice, he'd forgotten what it was like to hear that noise. 'I just...' Matty sighed. 'It's okay' George rubbed his thigh gently. But when Matty stiffened at the touch, he quickly took his finger away. 'I don't know George, my head is fucked. I fucked it up, I fucked everything up' Matty practically whispered. 

George was confused and getting more frustrated, so he just sat looking at Matty until the singer finally carried on. 'I can't tell you, it will fuck everything up forever' Matty sobbed. George literally felt his heart sink at watching Mattys eyes glaze over with tears. He didn't even care what Matty thought as he leant over and scooped him into his lap. Matty was practically shaking as he sobbed into Georges neck. George didn't know what to do and he especially didn't know what to say, so he just sat and let Matty cry his heart out while he rubbed circles on his back trying to calm him down. 

George knew as much as Matty had said it was his fault, that it wasn't. Matty was always blaming everything on himself even when it wasn't. George knew this was about the two of them on tour, but he still couldn't understand what Matty was keeping from him. 

5 minutes later and Matty's sobs became less frequent. George leant back and looked into his best friends lost eyes, they were dark and sad, but they also had a hint of something George knew all too well in them. His brain could only say 'no' before he gently put his hand on the back of Mattys neck, leant down, and brushed their lips gently together. 

Matty didn't move, his heart was beating abnormally fast and he wasn't sure what to do. He should tell George to fuck off, remind him he has a girlfriend that he fucking loves. Matty knew this would only make things worse again, but he didn't care. George had kissed him, George wanted him. The last month of separation had only heightened Matty's need of Georges touch. So he got a handful of hair, and kissed him back. 

Their tongues met in the middle and George span Matty around so he was spread over his lap. They were both hard at the first kiss but neither cared as their need for each other became greater. The past month melted away as George got two handfuls of arse and Matty sunk his fingernails into the drummers back. 'Not on the couch' Matty managed to get out breathlessly as George pulled off his top. As much as he wanted it, sticky leather was not something he could begin to deal with. 

They stumbled up the stairs pressed to each other as they finally found Mattys room and collapsed on his bed. The singer mentally thanked himself for actually having a bit of a tidy this morning. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt George take a bite at his nipple. Matty moaned and grabbed a handful of hair. George worked his tongue all over his chest and Matty was throbbing so hard he thought he was gonna come just from this slight touch. 

'Hurry the fuck up i swear to god' Matty managed to choke out as George undid his belt. He could hardly breathe as his erection sprung free from his boxers, and he cried out as Georges lips kissed the head of his cock. Matty was too turned on for this, he wanted the drummer inside him. He grabbed a handful of hair and pulled George to his mouth again. 

Their tongues were soaked from each other and the noises were like something from a fucking porno. George groaned into Mattys mouth as the singer pulled off his top and lightly ran his fingernails down his back. He let Matty roll him over and climb on top, he let him control it as he undid his jeans and yanked them down. The singer licked over the wet patch through Georges white boxers. He pulled them down to the floor then leant over him again as he took Georges cock in his mouth. George knew if he let Matty control it much more it would be over before they'd even begun. 

He flipped Matty back over and reached for a hair tie on his bedside table. 'Do you trust me?' George asked. He was apprehensive of the answer, but he had an idea, and he needed Matty's consent to do it. Matty just looked wide eye back at George, because of course he trusted him, he always had trusted him and always would. He nodded slowly and didn't even think about what was going to actually happen. 

George leant down and kissed his wrists gently, before he pulled them together and put the hair tie around them. Then he flipped Matty onto his chest and made him bend his knees so he was facedown on the mattress. 'If it hurts tell me to stop okay' George whispered in the singers ear. Matty just nodded and let George do what he wanted, he was so turned on he couldn't care if it destroyed him. 

George grabbed the lube from the drawer and clicked off the lid. He coated two fingers and kissed Matty inbetween his thighs, then slid in two fingers into the tight muscle. Matty cried out from the pressure, he forgot how fucking good this felt. George rubbed over his prostate a few times before he knew the singer was ready. He lined up and gently thrusted his leaking cock into Matty's ass. 'Fuck you're tight' he managed to whisper to the singers ear. The pair were both groaning with the pure pleasure and neither we're sure how long this would last. 

George grazed his teeth along Matty's collar bone, nipped at a bit of skin, then pulled back the singers arms behind him. George had hold of his tied hands as he balanced himself on the other arm. After a few seconds he thrusted in and out again, the pleasure was unreal and both had forgotten just how good this felt, it was like nothing else. 

The drummer thrusted in and out slowly, he wanted to feel Matty, to make up for the last month. He came fast and carried on for a little while longer, in and out a few more times. He could tell Matty was at his limit, the singer was practically shaking so George pulled out, untied his wrists, then rolled him onto his front. Matty looked wrecked, 'you should have told me to stop sooner' George whispered anxiously, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Matty after all of this. 

'I didn't need to stop, just want you' Matty said gently as he stroked George's cheek. Truthfully he did need to stop, he felt like he was going to collapse, but he didn't want to let George down. But George just knew when Matty was at his limit. That fucked Matty up more than anything, the fact George knew his body better than he knew it himself. He let the tears stream down his face once again as George took his cock in his mouth, and with a few sucks, Matty came. 

He pulled George up and lead his head on his chest. Matty was so in awe, so in fucking love with him. The pair just lead catching their breath in each other's company. The past month had been made up for and truthfully they both just wanted each other, no one else. 

***

George swore he must have fallen asleep because he woke up with tired eyes a while later. It was still afternoon and it was still light outside. He was still lead on Matty's chest and slowly sat up trying not to disturb him. He covered Matty up with the duvet and decided to go to the bathroom to clean up, he had sweat all over his face and come all down his legs. George walked into the bathroom and rubbed his eyes, he leant against the sink and looked in the mirror. He had just fucked hair but he looked good, he looked content. George went to turn on the tap until he saw the powder on the side. There was no question what it was, and he swear he felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. 

'No' he said, but it hardly came out as a sound. 

*** 

George sat on the edge of the bath with his head in his hands. He should have known this would happen, Matty alone for a month. Of course he wasn't going to just stick to alcohol and weed. 'Fucking why' George said to himself. No wonder Matty looked so broken, he'd been taking that devils poison. Matty had promised George he'd never go near it again, not after it fucked up their friendship last time. George was angry, but he knew if he let his emotions out in front of Matty it would just make the situation a whole lot worse. 

He splashed some cold water on his face, then went downstairs in the kitchen to make a coffee. 

***  
Matty woke up feeling sore in a good way, he was naked in his bed, and he smelt of George. He sat up and found the drummers t shirt, he put it on and stood in the mirror. It was way too big, but Matty didn't care, he could hear George downstairs and decided to go and face him again. 

He stood in the door of the kitchen, George was stood over the sink, his back to Matty. He was shirtless and the muscles in his back were rippling slightly where he was scrubbing a few cups. Matty bit his fingernail and walked over to George, letting his hand run down his back until he got to the top of his arse. 'Hey, you don't have to do that' Matty said gently. George didn't say anything back, infact he just froze. Matty felt his heart drop, so George regretted everything they'd just done... Fucking great. 

Matty was confused 'George' he said quietly. He watched as George rinsed his hands, dried them on the tea towel, then looked to face him. Matty was confused, George had a look of pure hurt on his face. And it only took a few seconds for Matty to click, the fact he's left the coke in the bathroom. 'Shit' Matty said as he threw his hands to his face. 

'Yeah so I guess we know what the fucking problem is then. At that again, nice one Matty, after everything that happened before and you've gone back to that old trick. Im guessing you were just high and horny as usual then' and with that, George walked past and went into the living room.

Matty went after him because he had to explain what had happened, that he never actually did it. But after the past month he knew George wouldn't believe him. Deep down, Matty knew the only way George would listen is if he told him the truth, the whole truth. 

***  
They sat opposite each other in silence in the living room. George was jiggling his knee and Matty knew he was going to snap at any moment. 

'You know I didn't actually do it' Matty's voice came out weak, and he sounded like a child who was getting told off.

'Oh so that's okay then is it?' Georges' voice was loud and Matty jumped slightly. 'If I was to even slightly to believe you're telling the truth, am I then likely to believe that if I hadn't have come to actually see you, you would have just poured it down the sink? Don't lie to me Matty, im so fed up with the lies.'

Matty just nodded, there was no point lying anymore. If George didn't come knocking on his door then he'd have taken the powder. He knew he was stupid, this had fucked up their friendship before, and just when they were going to try and repatch everything, Matty had fucked it up again. 

George sighed and leant back in the chair, 'Matty I just wanna know what's going on, I know you, and I know you're not telling the truth.' He sounded tired, and Matty's heart was racing so fast.

'I can't tell you' Matty said quietly. He knew this would ruin everything they'd ever had. 

George just looked at him with those big brown eyes, 'yes you can, just tell me.. Please.'

Matty was shaking, the words were on the tip of his tongue. George was just sat looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Matty bit his lip and looked down. 'I... At first this was just fun you know.. But then for me it became more and I...' 

'Matty just fucking say it for gods sake' George sounded even more angry now. He stood up, walked around the room, then leant against the door biting his finger nails. He was shirtless and it was not helping the words Matty was trying to process in his brain. 

Matty didn't know what to do, but he decided to go and stand in front of George. The two just stood at opposite ends of the door frame trying to look past each other. George took a deep breath, 'Matty I swear to god if you don't tell me what this is I will walk out this door and never come back.' Matty had never seen George look quite so angry, he was always so laid back.. But he knew George knew him even more than he knew himself. They'd been best mates for well over 10 years now, there was no way to keep secrets from each other without it being spotted.

Matty gripped the door looked at George. The drummer looked confused, annoyed, but also worried. Matty knew he had to tell him, keeping this in would only make things worse, not that he was sure that was even possible at this moment. 

'I fucking love you, I fucking love my best friend and I don't know how to stop.' Matty finally chocked out. 'So yes I was gunna do the coke, just to forget about you for a few damn minutes. You're the only thing I think about, you're the only one I fucking want and I don't know how to deal with it. Im sorry.' With that, Matty ran past George upstairs, he practically collapsed on the floor. His eyes stung with tears and he could hardly even breathe. 

***  
George stood frozen in shock for a few minutes after what Matty had just told him. He wasn't expecting that at all and for the strangest of reasons, George didn't even feel slightly phased by it. He was just stood staring into space at the news he'd been told. It shouldn't be like this, his best friends just told him he's in love with him. 

He looked up to see Matty practically run out the room, George didn't call after him, purely because he didn't know what to say. He had a girlfriend, who he loved, he didn't love Matty, not in that way. George was in a world of his own as Matty walked out the house fully dressed. He just sat wondering what the fuck he was feeling, because he had no idea anymore. 

Realistically he only ever wanted Matty, Matty was the one who he really ever even needed. However they were two guys who had been friends for years and years. One had a girlfriend who he wanted to actually spend his life with, and the other was totally fucked in his head. George finally decided to move, he needed to clear his head, and the only way he'd do that is if he got out of this damn house. 

He sighed as he went upstairs to get his tshirt, which of course, Matty had on. He opened the wardrobe and found one of the singers hoodies. It was a little small on George but it would have to do. He went downstairs, put on his shoes, and shut the door behind him. 

It was a nice day, London was sunny and it was beginning to get warmer again. George wasn't really taking much notice of anything as he walked back down the road to the tube station. He kept replaying Matty's words over and over in his head. George wasn't exactly put off by anything by this, he just felt like he'd lead Matty on. He felt like if he'd known this sooner maybe things would have been different. He had no idea where Matty had gone, but George knew there was no point even going near each other for a few days. They were both too confused and it would end up even worse than it was now if George tried to find him. 

***  
Matty sat in George's oversized white tshirt in some park in North London. He was cold even though the air was warm, he couldn't stop shaking and he didn't know what to do with himself. He'd not bought any money and he didn't even remember to bring any fags. Matty couldn't even bring himself to tears anymore, he just felt drained of everything. He'd fucked up everything they'd ever had, he was sure George would never even speak to him again. It made Matty physically cringe when he thought about George just stood there completely stunned. Matty just shook his hands and pulled at the grass on the ground next to him. On one hand he wanted to go home, but on the other, he knew every shitty memory would hit him in the face even more. 

***

George arrived home to the smell of cooking and Jessy stood in the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hand. 'Hey babe, im cooking some dinner, how was Matty?'

George kind of froze, because he didn't even want to think of that right now. He hadn't stopped thinking about Matty for the past month, past three months even. 'Yeah fine' he said as he leant in to give her a kiss. 

They sat in an awkward silence as they ate, George could hardly even taste the food. His mind was in another place. Jessy noticed this, but he didn't care. 'Matty wasn't fine was he? You can tell me you know' she said softly. George just laughed, because she knew him in the same way he knew Matty. 

'It's nothing' George replied, he couldn't exactly tell his girlfriend about the shit that had gone down that day.

Jessy put her knife and fork down and leant back in her chair, 'look George, you don't think I noticed you and Matty being oddly close when you were on tour. And you don't think I noticed the fact he was ignoring you for a month... And I know for a fact that's his jumper when you went out with a tshirt on this morning..'

George didn't know what to say, mainly because he didn't really care about what she thought at this point. He just stayed in silence until she put her hand over his, 'look, I love you George and I'm always going to be here for you, but this just isn't working anymore is it?' 'I know how you feel about Matty, I can see it in your eyes.... Im gunna go okay' And with that, she got up and walked out the door. 

George picked up the plates and did the washing up, his mind was in a hundred different places and he needed to get either very high or very drunk. 

An hour later he sat with a bottle of Matty's favourite wine and tears staining his cheeks. George didn't know what to do, because the more he thought about it, the more he just wanted to be sat now with Matty in his arms. He thought about Jessy, maybe she was just an excuse to hide his real feelings. George never had been one to have the girlfriends, he'd always found it hard to date. At first she was perfect, and he did love her, he still does love her. There was just a difference to loving someone for who they are to you, or being actually in love with someone.

Was he in love with Matty though.. George never stopped thinking about him, even when he was with him. Matty was the one he always wanted to share things with first, Matty was the one he wanted to complete his hopes and dreams with. He'd let his perfect, beautiful girl walk out the door and he didn't even care, just because he was thinking about Matty. 

'For fucks sake' George said quietly to himself. He just wanted Matty, to tell him it would be okay, to say they could get through this. They were Matty and George and nothing would ever change that. 

***   
Matty had turned up on Adams door step a while after. Adam had welcomed him in and let him ramble on about everything that had happened over a blunt and some whisky. Hann didn't even looked slightly shocked at all the stuff Matty was going on about. He'd just pulled Matty in for a hug and said they'd all noticed things had changed, but that they'd be okay. Matty left pretty soon after and decided he should probably go home. Adam had offered to give him a lift but for once, Matty just wanted to walk. His t shirt smelt of George but it was comforting, he just wanted to curl up and sleep in it. 

Infact he was almost home when his phone buzzed in his pocked, up until that point Matty had forgot he even had his phone with him. He looked down to see a message from George:

'Come to mine' 

Matty just shook his head and carried on walking, now was not the time. A few seconds later it went off again. 

'Please'  
'Im sorry' 

That was all it took before Matty crossed to the other side of the road and headed in the direction of Georges house. He couldn't help but wish he'd had a lot more whisky. 

***  
George sat on his sofa with the wine biting his nails. He probably shouldn't have texted Matty and he wasn't even getting an answer. His emotions were replaced with fear, Matty went out without a coat on and with no money. God knows where he would end up.

George soon forgot about his thoughts when he heard his doorbell ring. 

***   
Matty stood on Georges door step with his palms sweating and his heart racing. 

George looked so calm when he opened the door and Matty couldn't help his breath hitch in his throat. 'You've been crying?' Matty whispered softly, 'you never cry George.' It was true, in all the years they'd known each other, the drummer was never the one to cry. In one way, Matty wanted to turn round and run back out the door again, he'd fucked up so bad. But George kicked the door shut behind him. 

'Jessy left me' George spoke quietly 'It all made me think, made me realise how stupid Id been to you.'

'George no this isn't your fault' Matty shook his head.

'Matty I'm shit with stuff like this, you know that. But I've sat here for the last hour thinking about my life without you and it just doesn't work. I guess I've never experienced these emotions before so I don't know how to cope with them you know.' 

Matty just stood there looking at George, he was trying to get his words out and for the life of him it wasn't working. Matty just watched because he was so in awe of this dope he called his best friend. 

The next thing Matty knew, was that George's lips were on his and he was surrounded by the warmth of his strong arms. Matty laughed and nestled his head into Georges chest 'hey that's my jumper.' 

George laughed into Matty's curls, 'couldn't walk home topless could I now.' 

'No, that's a view for a lucky few.' Matty said back, he was grinning into the drummers chest and he felt like his heart was going to physically burst.

'View for you all the time, if you want it,' George stood back with Matty opposite him.

'Always will, you know that.' Matty didn't even know what to feel, it was just too much. His drummer was stood in front of him with those big brown eyes wanting him back. 

'Okay but what about the band and shit.. And..?' George looked worried. Matty laughed 'fuck everyone and everything, just kiss me okay.' And that was all George needed before he stepped forward, and forgot about all those stupid worries. The only thing he ever needed was right in front of him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! More of an epilogue-
> 
> Thank you all for reading. Im going to edit it all sometime/add parts in and stuff. 
> 
> Also there may possibly be a squal in the future.

*3 months later* 

George rolled over in bed to their little beige puppy, Allen, licking the back of his neck. 'Hey buddy' George said as he scooped the dog in his arms and tickled his soft belly. They'd only been living with each other two weeks when George had spotted an advert for the puppies in the news paper. Of course Matty couldn't say no, and that Saturday morning, they arrived back with a little Allen Ginsberg. 

George climbed out of bed and put on a pair of jeans, he looked in the mirror and groaned about how messy his hair was. However he could smell bacon coming from downstairs which only put the fear of god into his head. Matty was probably the worst cook on earth, and this meant he was actually using the cooker. 

George made his way downstairs with Allen at his feet. He stood resting against the door frame as he watched Matty singing to himself while he poked at the food with a knife. George rubbed his knuckle over his lips to hide the smile which had spread across his face. Matty was concentrating, George could tell by the way he bit his lip and hummed to the tune of some song he was singing. Matty was wearing George's tracksuit bottoms and they hung of his hips where they were much too big. 

A few seconds later Matty turned round 'hey, you scared me.' George walked over to him and hugged him from behind, 'and what do you think you're doing?' 'Well,' Matty said 'I'm cooking you breakfast. I was going to do eggs too but it's just bacon now.'

George laughed as he went over to the fridge and picked out 2 eggs. Clearly Matty was not going to admit he didn't have a clue what to do with them so had just settled for the easier option. 

10 minutes later, they were sat on the sofa with a coffee each eating their breakfast. Matty had his legs draped over Georges and they were making the most of their last few free days. Festival season was over, and it was soon to be back on tour again for about the next year. None of their fans knew about them being together, it was pretty easy to hide. There was always the odd jokes about the two of them and there always had been. Maybe one day in the future they might show it, but for now they were just happy keeping it to themselves and a few others. 

The day after they'd finally got together, they'd told all the other guys while out for a late lunch. It was mainly pure congratulations, as well as a 'fucking finally' from Ross, a 'called that one months ago' from Adam, and a 'please don't fuck in the bunks' from John. Everything was just how they wanted it. The album had kept selling, and The Ballad of Me and My Brain was being released as a single the next week, their song. The tour had sold out in minutes for over 20 countries and they were even beginning to begin to plan the third album. 

Matty and George had decided to buy their own house a little while after. It was a pain to keep going round each other's even if they were so close. They'd settled for an old house in the middle of Hackney, it needed a lot of work but George had taken up interior decorating in his spare time. There wasn't a day when Matty wouldn't come home to another antique placed in the hallway or living room. Their bathroom was also painted pink much to Matty's idea and Georges disgrace . 

Matty had taken up writing lyrics on his type writer while George was busy with the house, they had a routine while they were on their break. Allen was always at their feet and it had taken Matty ages to stop sulking over the fact he'd have to go and live with their friend while they were on tour. 

***

Matty flicked through the channels on the tv and settled with the news, it was fairly early and there wasn't much on. 'God we're not 80' George said as he took a sip of coffee. 'No, we're not, but sometimes you act it.'

Matty laughed as George leant over and punched him lightly in the thigh. 'Oi you dick,' Matty climbed on Georges lap and it wasn't long before their mouthes were tied together. They were soon disturbed when Allen rested his head on Georges thigh, 'hey buddy, do you feel left out.' George picked up the puppy and kissed his soft head, 'shh you're still cuter.' 

Matty rolled his eyes and collected their plates before going into the kitchen. He thought about doing the washing up but that would have to wait for later, the guys we're coming round for tour practice then they were all ordering a takeaway later. One of the best things about Matty and Georges new house was the fact they had a studio in their basement so they could record and practice from home. They spent a lot of their time in there and it was like a small escape from reality. 

George walked into the kitchen and put the mugs in the sink next to the plates. He ran his fingers down Matty's side and pulled him into a tight hug. 'Hey what was that for?' Matty asked as he stood on tiptoes to kiss George's lips. 'I dunno, I just love you.' Matty smiled as he listened to George, he'd never get used to the feeling of hearing those words. 'Well, and I love you. But I think we better get dressed as we'll have the guys knocking at the door in a minute, and we're not exactly dressed.' 

'Shame' George said as he followed Matty up the stairs 'wish we had the day together so I could get a better view of this.' Matty felt George grab his ass cheek, 'we have all night you idiot.' But that didn't stop George stealing a last few kisses as they got to the top of the stairs. They were each other's now, and everything felt just... Right.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr- the1975atmidnight


End file.
